


Nightingale

by Ice_Queen784



Series: TGS Modern AU [2]
Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drug Use, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 24,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Queen784/pseuds/Ice_Queen784
Summary: When Phineas goes to London with his show, he meets a young Swedish pop star named Jenny Lind. After he offers to make her a star in America, they go on a journey together neither of them could have seen coming.A sequel to The Greatest Show on Earth
Relationships: Charity Barnum/P. T. Barnum, P. T. Barnum/Jenny Lind
Series: TGS Modern AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1397533
Comments: 41
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after the events of The Greatest Show on Earth. It starts in January, 2019. Like the first story, all of the songs in this are pre-existing songs, so just pretend that the songs I reference are actually by Jenny Lind. :)

Phineas rode in a cab down the streets of London with Phillip. The rest of the main cast were riding over too. They were heading to a TV studio to do a segment with a morning show. They were spending two weeks in London, where they would be doing a week of performances. 

The morning of the TV show appearance was mostly a blur. It wasn’t his first time on a morning show, but it was his first time on TV in a foreign country. In fact, this trip was his first time in any foreign country ever. 

What really stood out to him happened after the interview. One of the other guests on the show that morning was a Swedish singer named Jenny Lind. Phineas had never heard of her before, but her voice was beautiful. She was beautiful. Everything about her was captivating and incredible. 

She was singing one of her hit singles, God is a Woman, from her debut album, Nightingale. Apparently, she’d had a string of top 10 hits in Europe, starting with a song called Never Enough, that reached number one in Sweden and the UK in 2017. 

Jenny had without a doubt the most beautiful voice Phineas had ever heard. And he wondered why her music wasn’t playing on stations in America. 

_ “You, you love it how I move you,”  _ she sang.

_ “You love it how I touch you, my one _

_ When all is said and done _

_ You’ll believe God is a woman.” _

She looked and sounded like a goddess for sure. Her voice was perfect. She was perfect. 

After her performance, he found her offset. 

“Your performance was incredible.” He told her. “You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you.” Jenny smiled. “You’re the American show runner, right? P.T. Barnum?”

“The one and only.” He replied. “But you can call me Phineas.”

“Alright, Phineas.” She reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Jenny.” 

“Jenny, I have a proposal for you.” He explained. “How would you like to come to America? American audiences would love you. Your voice, your songs, your look, all of it is perfect. I honestly think you could become the biggest pop star in the States, if not the world.”

“And how exactly do you plan to make me the biggest pop star in the world?” She questioned.

“I’m not sure yet.” He confessed. “But I have contacts in the music industry in New York, including a record label I work with. I also have contacts with a touring agency who helped me get my show over here. I think we could find a way to make you a star in America.”

“I’ll think about it.” She told him. 

They exchanged contact information, and Phineas headed to their next stop, filled with hope and dreams of a brand new opportunity. 

*****

Phineas sat down on his hotel bed that night. He took out his phone and FaceTimed Charity. It was past midnight in London, but it was only six in New York City. And he desperately wanted to see Charity, Caroline, and Helen. Due to the girls’ school schedules, they hadn’t been able to come with, and he missed them terribly. 

“Chairy,” He greeted her when she answered. 

“Hi, Phin,” She smiled. “How’s London?”

“Cold and dreary, but fun.” Phineas answered. “It would be even better if you and the girls were here. I might not even notice the English weather.” 

“I wish we were there too.” Charity replied. “I’ve always wanted to go to London. But Caroline and Helen just started the new semester, and I can’t take them out of school for two weeks.”

“I know.” He told her. “Where are the girls? Can I talk to them?”

“Of course.” She nodded. “Caroline! Helen! Come down and talk to Daddy!”

He could hear the girls running excitedly down the stairs in the background. 

“Daddy!” They greeted him excitedly when Charity handed them the phone. 

“Hi girls,” He smiled. “How are you doing?”

“Good.” Caroline replied. “What’s London like?”

“Did you meet the queen?” Helen asked.

“London is amazing, but I haven’t met the queen.” He answered. “Maybe we’ll all meet her someday when I take you all back here.”

A timer went off in the background. 

“I think dinner’s ready.” Charity announced, taking the phone back. “Phin, we’re gonna have to go. Will you call again tomorrow?”

“Of course.” He promised. 

“Girls, say goodbye to Daddy.” Charity told them.

“Bye Daddy!” The girls said in unison.

“Bye girls. Bye Charity.” He told them sadly. “I love you.”

“Love you.” They all replied.

When he hung up, he took out his earbuds. He opened Spotify and looked up Jenny Lind. She had released one EP and one album. He clicked on the EP, called Never Enough, which was released in 2017. There were seven songs on it. 

  1. Never Enough
  2. Greedy
  3. Alone
  4. Money Power Glory
  5. Consequences
  6. Sweet But Psycho
  7. Skyscraper



He Googled her while he listened to it. Jenny Lind was born Johanna Maria Lind in Stockholm, Sweden on October 6, 1993, making her 25 now. She signed her first record deal early in 2017, when she was 23. Later that year, shortly after her 24th birthday, her first EP was released. Her first single, Never Enough, reached number one in Sweden and the UK, and her second single, Sweet But Psycho, reached number one in Sweden and number three in the UK. 

In summer of 2018, less than a year after the release of Never Enough, she released her first full-length album, Nightingale. The title came not just from a song on the album, but from the nickname she’d been given by some in the European music industry, the Swedish Nightingale. She had gotten the nickname for her beautiful soprano voice, and from listening to her music, Phineas could tell nickname was well earned. 

Jenny had released four hit singles off her album. The first, God is a Woman, had hit number one in several European countries, and her second Touch It, had charted in the top ten as well. Her third single was called Praying, and while it did just as well as her previous singles, it stood out as being more personal, more emotional. Her latest single, Dangerous Woman, was currently climbing the charts across Europe, and had already cracked the top five in Sweden and the UK. 

Phineas listened to Nightingale next, which had fifteen songs. 

  1. Sorry Not Sorry
  2. I’m a Mess
  3. God is a Woman
  4. You Don’t Do It For Me Anymore
  5. Dangerous Woman
  6. Praying
  7. You Don’t Know Me
  8. Fake Smile
  9. When the Party’s Over
  10. Never Be the Same
  11. Nightingale
  12. Summertime Sadness
  13. Stone Cold
  14. Touch It
  15. Warrior 



As Phineas listened, he closed his eyes, and tried to imagine what the woman behind the voice was like. He could hear the authenticity in her voice. Whatever emotion she was trying to convey in a song, she conveyed it perfectly. He could hear the pain in her voice when she wanted him to. He heard sadness and joy, love and heartbreak, confidence and insecurity, all fitting with whatever lyrics she sang. He sensed that she might be a very complicated person, but he hoped regardless that he would have the chance to get to know her better. 


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, Phineas got a call from Jenny.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey.” She replied. “I’ve talked to my agent, and I’ve thought a lot about your offer. And I’ve made a decision. Whatever it is you have planned for me, I’m in.”

“That’s great.” He smiled excitedly. 

“Are you still in London?” Jenny asked.

“I am.” 

“Would you like to meet up tonight? Maybe get dinner?”

“I would love that.” Phineas told her. 

“Great. I know a couple of really good places. I’ll text you the info and you can decide.”

“Sounds good.” 

“Alright. Bye.”

“Bye.”

An hour later, they met up at an Italian restaurant not far from his hotel. She was already there, and he spotted her bright red hair immediately. She got up from the table and hugged him when he walked over to her. 

“I’m glad you could make it.” Jenny told him. 

“Me too.”

They sat back down. They looked through the menu in silence for a few minutes, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. He found it odd that he already felt so comfortable around her. He barely knew her. But it seemed they were already friends.

After they both set their menus down, Jenny spoke first. 

“So, do you have any details on your grand plans to make me a star in America?” She asked.

“I don’t have any official plans yet, but I do have some ideas.” He told her. He’d thought a lot about it the last couple of days. “First, I think you should release at least one or two of your songs as singles in America. As I’m sure you’ve already realized, the best way to get fans to notice you is to get your music on the radio. You already have several music videos, so we can work on promoting those to American audiences too. We should promote your new album as well.”

“And you said you have connections in the music industry, right?”

“We have a record label that we’ve been working with.” He explained. “And my partner on the show has some connections from before he started working with me as well.”

“Alright.” She nodded. “This sounds like a decent start. Anything else?”

“I think it would be cool if you could on some kind of North American tour.” He suggested. “Whether that would be as an opening act for another singer or as the headliner, I don’t know. But obviously this probably wouldn’t happen until you’ve at least started to take off on America.”

“An American tour sounds fun.” She agreed. “I’ve never really been outside of Europe. I would love to see America.”

“I would love to be able to show it to you.” He replied. “So let's hope we get the chance.”

***** 

Two months later, Phineas stood at the airport. Jenny Lind was finally coming to America. She was flying to New York City from London, and he was picking her up at the airport. He could’ve hired a driver for her, but he wanted to make her welcome feel warmer. 

They had already released her single Dangerous Woman to radio in America. It was getting a fair amount of radio play across the country, and this last week, it was featured as the “on the verge track” on AT40. American audiences were discovering her music and loving her, just like he knew they would. 

The next day, Jenny would be making an appearance on the Today Show, where she would be performing Dangerous Woman, as well as making a special announcement. Over the summer, she would be going on a North American tour. 

Phineas spotted Jenny the moment she walked through the terminal. She smiled when she saw him. She walked over to him and hugged him.

“Thank you for picking me up.” Jenny told him.

“No problem.” He replied. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine. I didn’t get stuck in an aisle seat or by a screaming baby, so it could’ve been worse.” She laughed. “I’m just excited to finally be in New York City. I’ve always wanted to visit here.”

“I’m excited to have you here.” He told her. “And I’d be happy to show you around the city.”

“That would be so much fun.” She agreed. “Hey, let’s take a selfie for my Instagram.”

He smiled and took the picture with her. She posted it as they got in the cab. She looked so bright and hopeful. He felt the same way. This marked the start of a new chapter for both of them. A chapter he couldn’t wait to start. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure you want to go on this tour, Phin?” Charity asked him.

It was late May. He and Jenny were leaving on tour the next day. Charity was helping him pack. They’d discussed this for weeks. She understood why he wanted to go, or at least said that she did. But she made it clear that she didn’t want him to.

“This could be an incredible opportunity for us, Charity.” He defended his decision.

“No, it could be an incredible opportunity for you.” She argued. “I’m not getting anything out of this but months of lonely nights. Why do you even have to go with her?”

“I’m her only friend in America.” He told her. “I’ve taken her all the way over here. I helped make her a star here. I can’t just abandon her now. Besides, the plan was always for me to go on the tour with her.”

“Plans you didn’t tell me about until they were confirmed.” 

“I didn’t know if it was really going to happen.” 

“That’s not an excuse.” Charity retorted. “But whatever. I never would’ve been able to change your mind.” 

“Chairy, please don’t take this personally.” He took her hands. “This isn’t about you. This is about my career. This is about me doing whatever I can for our family.”

“We already have everything we could ever need.” She pointed out. “What more do you want? When will it be enough for you?”

“What we have is enough.” He replied. “You and the girls are all I need. I love you.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

Phineas knew he didn’t have an answer that would satisfy her. Maybe it was because she was right. He had no good reason that he needed to do this. He just wanted to. 

“I don’t know.” He answered after a moment. 

“Then don’t go.”

“I have to.” He told her. “I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Phin.” She started to walk away. “And I know you love me. But I also know that you’ll never love anything more than you love yourself.” 

*****

Phineas stood backstage with Jenny at Madison Square Garden. The arena was sold out. 

“This is by far the biggest audience I’ve ever performed for.” She told him.

“You’ll do great.” He assurred her. “Remember, they’re here because they like your music and they like you. It’ll be fine.”

“Do I look okay?”

“Okay?” He asked incredulously. “You look incredible.”

She wore a short, tightfitting white dress with gold lace. It was revealing, but she pulled it off well. Her high heels were gold as well. Her fiery hair was in an elaborate updo with white and gold pins, and her makeup featured gold eyeshadow, highlighter, and lipstick. She looked like a goddess. 

Phineas took his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. It was one minute til eight. 

“I think it’s time for you to go on.” He told her. 

“Wish me luck.” She replied. 

He smiled. 

“Good luck. You’re gonna bring the house down.”

“Thanks.” 

He stood and watched from the wings as she walked onstage. The crowd started screaming as she walked out. But they quieted as the music started. She began with Never Enough, which Phineas thought was an odd choice for an opener, but it was what she always did. 

_ “I’m trying to hold my breath _ ,” She sang.

_ “Let is stay this way _

_ Can’t let this moment end _

_ You set off a dream in me _

_ Gettin’ louder now _

_ Can you hear it echoing?” _

_ “Take my hand _

_ Will you share this with me? _

_ ‘Cause darling, without you,” _

For a second, she turned to look at him, and his heart stopped. But she turned her face back to the audience and kept singing.

_ “All the shine of a thousand spotlights _

_ All the stars we steal from the night sky _

_ Will never be enough, never be enough _

_ Towers of gold are still too little _

_ These hands could hold the world but it’ll _

_ Never be enough, never be enough,” _

_ “For me, never, never _

_ Never, never _

_ Never, for me, for me _

_ Never enough, never enough, never enough _

_ For me, for me, for me,” _

Her voice and face were so full of emotion. He started to feel like she was singing to him, even when she wasn’t looking at him. 

_ “All the shine of a thousand spotlights _

_ All the stars we steal from the night sky _

_ Will never be enough, never be enough _

_ Towers of gold are still too little _

_ These hands could hold the world but it’ll _

_ Never be enough, never be enough,” _

_ “For me, never, never _

_ Never, never _

_ Never, for me, for me _

_ Never enough, never, never _

_ Never enough, never, never _

_ Never enough _

_ For me, for me, for me,” _

The music stopped abruptly, and the arena was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

_ “For me,”  _ she finished.

The crowd cheered, and Jenny turned and gave him the brightest smile she had ever seen. He had never seen the look in her eyes before either. 

Had she been singing that song to him? No, that was ridiculous. He hardly knew her. He pushed the idea way. But he couldn’t push away the feeling in his heart. He didn’t even know what it was. But he prayed to God that he wasn’t making a mistake by going on this tour. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Phineas loaded the tour bus with Jenny. They would be spending a lot of time on here in the next couple of months. Their next stop, Boston. The tour schedule seemed long and daunting, but he hoped it would go well, if not fast. There were 26 stops over the next two months: 24 in the United States and two in Canada. 

  1. NYC- 6/3
  2. Boston- 6/5
  3. Toronto- 6/7
  4. Philadelphia- 6/9
  5. Pittsburgh- 6/11
  6. Cincinnati- 6/13
  7. Louisville- 6/14
  8. Atlanta- 6/16
  9. Charleston- 6/18
  10. Miami- 6/20
  11. New Orleans- 6/23
  12. Memphis- 6/25
  13. Nashville- 6/26
  14. St. Louis- 6/28
  15. Chicago- 6/30
  16. Minneapolis- 7/2
  17. Kansas City- 7/4
  18. Denver- 7/6
  19. Dallas- 7/9
  20. Houston- 7/11
  21. Phoenix- 7/14
  22. Los Angeles- 7/16
  23. San Francisco- 7/18
  24. Salt Lake City- 7/20
  25. Seattle- 7/23
  26. Vancouver- 7/25



They had one stop down, and 25 to go. If this went well, perhaps someday they could go on a longer tour together with more stops. Maybe they could even tour internationally. But for now, they were staying in North America. 

He had said his goodbyes to Charity, Caroline, and Helen. He would miss them, but he promised to FaceTime with them everyday. 

He sat down next to Jenny, who was posting on her Instagram story. She looked over at him and smiled. 

“Ready to conquer New England?” He asked her.

“I think so.” She replied. “What’s the town we’re technically going to?”

“Foxborough, Massachusetts.” Phineas explained. “Gillette Stadium. Home of everyone’s least favorite football team.”

“The Patriots don’t play real football.” Jenny argued. “They play American football.”

He wasn’t expecting her to know what NFL team played at Gillette Stadium. But he was absolutely ready to argue that soccer was not real football. 

They talked for a few hours, laughing and watching the scenery go by. 

“I’m tired.” She announced eventually.

“You wanna go lay down?” He offered. After all, this bus actually had beds in it. 

“No, it’s alright.” She yawned. “I’ll just take a nap here.”

She fell asleep facing the window. For some reason, he was tempted to put his arm around her and pull her towards him, so she could lean her head on his shoulder. But he didn’t. He didn’t want her to wake up and be creeped out or anything. 

So he just sat there next to her, and after a while, he fell asleep too.

*****

It was in the low 60s when Jenny took the stage the next night, which was good, because Phineas was sure she would have been freezing if the weather was any cooler. She was wearing a very short, white, two piece dress, with gold flowery designs on the top and at the waist, and gold strappy heels. Her hair was in a long braid with gold ribbon weaved into it, and she wore a similar gold makeup look to the one she had worn in New York. She seemed to like wearing gold, and Phineas had to admit she looked good in it. 

_ “You say that you wanna go  _

_ To a land that’s far away  _

_ How are we supposed to get there  _

_ With the way that we’re living today?”  _

_   
_ She stood centerstage, singing Money Power Glory. It was a slower song that showcased her vocal range well. 

_ “You talk lots about God _

_ Freedom comes from the call _

_ But that’s not what this bitch wants _

_ Not what I want at all,” _

_ “I want money, power, and glory _

_ I want money, and all your power, all your glory _

_ Hallelujah, I wanna take you for all that you got _

_ Hallelujah, I’m gonna take them for all that they got _

_ Baby,” _

When Jenny finished her performance, the lights went out on stage and she walked off. She hugged Phineas as soon as she got backstage.

“How was it?” She asked.

“You were incredible.” He told her. “You really were.”

“Thank you.” She blushed a little. 

“Why don’t you get changed, and then we’ll head back to the hotel?” He suggested.

She nodded.

About ten minutes later, she came out of her dressing room. 

“Ready to go?” She asked him.

“I am.”

Together, they made their way out of the stadium and into the rental car that would take them to the hotel. She yawned when she sat down beside him. 

“Tired?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Within a few minutes, she was asleep. This time, she leaned her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer.

When the car pulled up at the hotel, Phineas gently shook her awake.

“We’re here, Jenny.” He told her. 

He took her hand and led her inside the hotel. She kept her hand intertwined with his all the way up to their rooms. He walked her down to her door.

“Goodnight, Jenny.” 

“Goodnight, Phineas.” She smiled before heading inside. 

He couldn’t help but notice that she was hesitant to let go of his hand. And honestly, a part of him hadn’t wanted her to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this so far. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Phineas knocked on Jenny’s hotel door. She didn’t answer, so he knocked again.

“Jenny!” He called. “Jenny, are you up?”

He heard movement from inside the room. A few moments later, she opened the door.

“I’m up now.” She muttered.

“Do you want to get breakfast before we go?” He asked. “If you do, you might wanna get around. The bus leaves in less than an hour.”

“I don’t eat breakfast.” Jenny replied. “But I still feel like shit. You look dressed and ready to go and I just rolled out of bed. Not to mention my room is a mess and I feel hungover.”

“Were you drinking last night?” He didn’t recall her drinking after the show.

“Just in my room.” She told him. “Didn’t want to get wasted in front of my new business partner.”

“I can help you pack if you want.” He offered. 

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” He smiled. 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem.”

Jenny stepped aside and let him walk in her room. It was a disaster. He didn’t know how she’d managed to make such a mess in one night. The blankets and pillows were all over the floor. The trash can had been knocked over, and there were broken bottles on the floor. 

“Jesus, you really were drunk last night.” Phineas remarked. If he was being honest, she looked like she had gotten more than drunk. “Is this what you normally do in hotel rooms?”

“No, no, of course not.” She shook her head. “I was just a little homesick last night, I guess. Lonely.”

“You could always come to my room if you’re lonely.” He suggested, before immediately realizing what that would’ve sounded like to her. “Not to sound creepy or anything. I didn’t mean anything sexual by that. I just-,”

“I know what you meant.” She cut him off. “And thank you. Now, we better start cleaning up if we want to leave for Toronto on time. I’ve never been to Canada before.”

“Neither have I, actually. So it’ll be the first time for both of us.”

“I’m excited.”

“Me too.”

*****

The next night, Phineas stood outside of Jenny’s dressing room. They were backstage at Scotiabank Stadium in Toronto. He knocked on the door.

“Are you ready yet?” He called.

“Almost.” She replied. “You can come in.”

He opened the door and walked inside. She was sitting in a chair, putting on a pair of strappy, gold heels. She was already dressed, and her hair and makeup were done too.

“You look beautiful.” He told her when she stood up.

“Thank you.” She blushed.

She wore a lacy gold cropped top with a short, white, flowing skirt. Her hair was done up in braids, and she wore her usual good makeup and accessories. It was only in the low 50s, but she didn’t have to worry about being cold, as she was performing in an indoor arena.

“You’re on in a few minutes.”

“I know.” She nodded. 

“Are you ready to go?” Phineas asked her.

She turned to the mirror with an uncertain glance, before taking a deep breath and nodding. 

“Come on, then.” 

He took her hand and led her out of the room. She squeezed his hand tighter as they stood backstage, waiting to go on stage. He pulled her into a hug.

“You’ll do great.” He reassured her. 

“Thanks.”

Without really thinking about it, he planted a kiss in her hair before she went out. 

Jenny sounded amazing as usual, but she looked a little nervous through Never Enough. But when she started her second song, Sorry Not Sorry, she seemed to get more confident.

_ “Now I’m out here lookin’ like revenge _

_ Feelin’ like a ten, the best I’ve ever been _

_ And, yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this _

_ But it gets worse,”  _ she sang.

_ “Now you’re out here lookin’ like regret, ain’t too proud to beg  _

_ Second chance, you’ll never get _

_ And, yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this _

_ But it gets worse,” _

The crowd sang along with her, and her face was absolutely glowing. 

_ “Now, payback is a bad bitch _

_ And baby, I’m the baddest _

_ You fuckin’ with a savage  _

_ Can’t have this, can’t have this _

_ And it’d be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah,” _

_ “Baby, I’m sorry, I’m not sorry _

_ Baby, I’m sorry, I’m not sorry _

_ Bein’ so bad got me feelin’ so good _

_ Showin’ you up like I knew that I would,” _

_ “Baby, I’m sorry, I’m not sorry  _

_ Baby, I’m sorry, I’m not sorry  _

_ Feelin’ inspired ‘cause the tables have turned _

_ Yeah, I’m on fire and I know that it burns,” _

*****

Two nights later, he stood backstage at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. It had been a hot day, and it was still a fairly warm evening, which was good, because this was an outdoor stadium, and her outfit was just as revealing as usual. 

Jenny was towards the end of her concert. She was singing Consquences, a sad but pretty ballad from her first EP. It was one of the last songs of the show. It showed off her upper range, but in a softer way than a lot of her other songs. 

_ “Hesitation, awkward conversation _

_ Running on low expectation _

_ Every siren that I was ignoring _

_ I’m paying for it,” _

_ “Loving you was young, and wild, and free _

_ Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet _

_ Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound _

_ A steady place to let down my defenses _

_ But loving you had consquences,” _

During the bridge, she sang a soft, simple melody in her upper voice that gave Phineas chills every time he heard it, before ending the song with a slightly different version of the chorus.

_ “Loving you was dumb, and dark, and cheap _

_ Loving you will still take shots at me _

_ Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured _

_ And I lost so much more than my senses  _

_ ‘Cause loving you had consequences,” _

_ “Yeah, loving you,” _

When her performance was over, she took a bow before walking off stage to him. He greeted her with a hug.

“How did I do?” She asked when they pulled away. 

“You were amazing, as always.” He told her. 

“Thanks.” She smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.

“Is something wrong, Jenny?” He asked.

“No, I’m fine.” He could tell she was lying, but he didn’t want to press the issue. 

“Why don’t we head back to the hotel?” Phineas suggested. “We’ll have to get up early tomorrow.”

“Another day on the bus.” She remarked. “It just might be intolerable if it weren’t for you.”

He was touched by her words, but he didn’t know how to reply. She was standing close to him, close enough that he could lean forward and kiss her if he wanted to. And he did want to. But he didn’t do it. He couldn’t. He was a married man, and he hadn’t even known Jenny that long. 

So instead, he just smiled and led her back to her dressing room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Phineas and Jenny headed back to the States. Their next stop was Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

“Ever been to Philly?” Jenny asked on the bus.

“Once.” He answered. “Ran up the Rocky Steps like a basic tourist.”

“Have you been to the stadium?”

“If you’re asking if I’ve been to a game at the Eagles stadium, the answer is hell no.” He laughed. “I’m a Giants fan. They’d murder me.”

“Oh, are you scared to go inside?” She teased. “Maybe you should sit this one out. I’ll go to Lincoln Financial Field myself, and you can stay at the hotel.”

“No way. I’m not missing a single one of your performances.” He took her hand. “Even if it means being in an arena full of possible Eagles fans.”

“I appreciate that.” 

She leaned her head on his shoulder, and without even thinking about it, he planted a soft kiss in her hair. 

*****

_ “Don’t you know I’m no good for you? _

_ I’ve learned to lose you can’t afford to _

_ Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin’ _

_ But nothin’ ever stops you leavin’,”  _

Jenny was singing When the Party’s Over. It was a sad song, and it was one of several that she always looked genuinely emotional while singing. 

Phineas and Jenny had been getting closer in the last few days. And he was worried they might be starting to get too close. But nothing had happened between them, so he tried not to worry about it too much.

_ “Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own _

_ I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that  _

_ I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that,” _

She kept looking offstage towards him, as if she was singing the song to him. He had noticed that she did that often during her performances. But tonight, there was a whole new level of emotion on her face that had never been there before, especially during this song. 

_ “Don’t you know too much already? _

_ I’ll only hurt you if you let me _

_ Call me friend, but keep me closer, call me back _

_ And I’ll call you when the party’s over,” _

_ “Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own _

_ And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that _

_ Yeah, I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that,” _

After the concert, they went back to the hotel. Phineas held her hand all the way up to her room. 

“You better get some rest.” He told her at her door. “We have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Of course.” She replied. “Goodnight, Phineas.”

“Goodnight, Jenny.”

He started to walk across the hall to his own room, but she called after him.

“Wait.” 

He turned around to face her again. She was silent for a moment before finally speaking up again.

“Would you mind staying with me tonight?” Jenny asked. “I know that probably sounds weird, and you’re a married man. But I’m not asking you to do anything sexual, I just,” she sighed. “I’m just so tired of being alone. If you don’t want to that’s fine, I completely understand. I-,”

“Jenny, it’s okay.” He cut her off. “I can stay with you if you want. I don’t mind. Just let me grab a few things from my room first.”

She nodded.

“I’ll let you in when you’re done.”

He went to his room and grabbed a pair of pajamas and his toothbrush before walking back across the hallway. He knocked on the door, and a moment later, she unlocked it and let him inside. 

There was a couch in the corner of the room, by the window, and he followed her over to it and sat down. 

“I’d offer you a drink, but I wanted to try to stay sober tonight.” She told him. 

Phineas wasn’t sure how to reply. He put his arm around her and she curled up against him, leaning her head on his shoulder. For a few minutes, they just sat there in silence, before he finally spoke.

“You write all your own songs don’t you?”

“I do.” She replied.

“How many of them are based on your real experiences?”

“Almost all of them.” 

“What about When the Party’s Over?” He asked. “What was your inspiration for that? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I was just curious.”

“I wrote it about an ex-boyfriend of mine, when I broke up with him.” Jenny explained. “He was a good man. He was kind and sweet and handsome. He was wonderful. But he was more serious than I was. Than I could let myself be. I just didn’t know how to handle him being so perfect to me, when I knew all I would ever do was hurt him. He deserved someone better than me. So I left him.”

She started to cry. He lifted her chin so she was facing him. 

“You deserve to be with someone like him.” Phineas told her, wiping her tears. “You deserve to be with someone who loves you.”

“You don’t understand.” She shook her head. “I didn’t deserve him, or anyone like him. I still don’t. All I ever do is hurt people. That’s why I’ve been trying so hard not to get too close to you. You’re the kindest person I’ve met in a long time. I don’t want to hurt you. I shouldn’t have even invited you here tonight. I’ve just been so lonely lately, for a long time actually, and you seemed to genuinely care about me, and I-,”

He cut her off with a kiss on the lips. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she latched on desperately. He pulled her into his lap and deepened the kiss. 

When they finally pulled away, neither of them knew what to do.

“We should probably get to bed.” He said eventually. She nodded. 

He tried to get up and move on like nothing happened. But as he laid in bed, with her cuddled up in his arms, he knew things had changed between them that night. And there was no going back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this so far. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Phineas woke with Jenny curled up in his arms, still sleeping. On one hand, he felt warm and comfortable. He found that he quite enjoyed holding her. It was sweet, and she looked so peaceful and beautiful. But on the other hand, it felt wrong. He knew he and Jenny were getting way too close. He shouldn’t be making out with her in her hotel room. And he definitely shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed as her. 

Jenny stirred in his arms, snapping him out of his thoughts. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled when she saw him. 

“Good morning, Jenny.” He said softly.

“Morning.” She replied.

Without even thinking about it, he pulled her a little closer and kissed her. She kissed back, and her eyes were glowing when they pulled away. 

“We better get up.” Phineas remarked. “We need to pack and eat breakfast before we leave.”

“Can’t we stay in bed a little longer?” Jenny asked. 

He should have told her no, but he couldn’t look into her sad, pretty eyes and deny her. 

“Sure.” He agreed. 

She smiled and snuggled up to him. He sighed. He was getting far too comforable around her. He was getting far too attatched to her. He knew deep down that he had feelings for her, and those feelings were only going to grow over the next few months. 

He had to find a way to distance himself from her without hurting her. He liked her and he cared about her, but he couldn’t risk his family over her. He’d already almost lost his wife and daughters once. He couldn’t lose them for good. 

***** 

Over the next couple of days, Phineas tried to distance himself from Jenny as much as possible. He didn’t hold her hand when they walked, or put his arm around her when she leaned her head on his shoulder. He certainly didn’t kiss her, even though there were a couple of moments when she looked like she wanted him to. 

If she noticed the change in his behavior, and he guessed that she probably did, she didn’t say anything about it. She seemed to just accept it. But the ever increasing sadness in her eyes caused an ache in his heart that threatened to ruin him if he didn’t ignore it. 

He stood backstage at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. Jenny was about halfway through her concert, and had been giving him sad looks from stage the whole night. It made him want to just walk out on stage and kiss her, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it. 

She was singing Nightingale, the title track from her full-length album. And she was singing it directly to him. 

_ “I can’t sleep tonight _

_ Wide awake and so confused,”  _ she sang.

_ “Everything’s in line, but I am bruised,” _

_ “I need a voice to echo _

_ I need a light to take me home _

_ I kinda need a hero _

_ Is it you?” _

_ “I never see the forest for the trees _

_ I could really use your melody _

_ Baby, I’m a little blind _

_ I think it’s time for you to find me,” _

_ “Can you be my nightingale? _

_ Sing to me  _

_ I know you’re there _

_ You could be my sanity _

_ Bring me peace _

_ Sing me to sleep _

_ Say you’ll be my nightingale,” _

When she walked offstage for intermission, he smiled at her.

“You did great.” He told her.

Jenny didn’t reply.

After the concert, they rode back to the hotel in silence. Phineas told her goodnight at her door and turned to go to his own room.

“Wait,” she called as he started to open his door. “I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?” He asked nervously, walking back to her. 

“Why are you pushing me away?”

“I-,” he sighed. “I can’t start a relationship with you, Jenny. I’m a married man.”

“You realized I was right, didn’t you?” She questioned. “That I would only hurt you.”

“No, that’s not-, this isn’t about you.” He told her. “This is about me and my marriage. You’re an incredible woman, and I really like you. It’s just-,”

“I understand.” She cut him off. “But if I’m gonna keep doing this tour, I need you to at least be my friend.”

“I will be, sweetheart.” He pulled her into a hug. “I promise.”

He couldn’t help it. He leaned down and kissed her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this so far. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter does contain a sex scene, although it isn't super explicit. I don't think there was a sex scene in The Greatest Show on Earth, so I figured I'd give you a heads up since you might not be expecting it.

Two days later, Phineas stood in Jenny’s dressing room with her at Paul Brown Stadium during the intermission of her Cincinnati concert. It was getting harder to keep his distance from her in public. He really was falling for her, and it was becoming more obvious every day. They could hardly keep their hands off of each other.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. He lifted her onto the counter and she opened her legs so he was standing between them as they made out. He pressed against her and she moaned softly. He swore it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. 

When they finally pulled away, they stared at each other silently for a moment. The look in her eyes was one of pure seduction, and it took all the self-control he had not to take off her clothes and fuck her right then and there. 

But they hadn’t taken that next step in their relationship yet. He was hesitant to, because once he did, he couldn’t pretend that this was innocent anymore. That he wasn’t cheating on his wife. There would be no going back after that.

Besides, if and when they did have sex, he wanted his first time with her to be special. He wanted it to be sweet and romantic. He didn’t want to just fuck her in her dressing room.

“You should probably get ready to go back out.” Phineas told her.

Jenny nodded, a look of disappointment crossing her face. 

When she went back out on stage, she opened the second half of her concert with Touch It, which had been the second single from her album.

_ “How do I make the phone ring? _

_ Why do I even care? _

_ How are you all around me, when you’re not really there? Hmm _

_ When you’re not really there,”  _ she sang.

_ “How do I feel you on me, when you’re not on my skin? _

_ Why do you say you want me, then tell me you’re not coming in? _

_ Ah, yeah, baby, just come on in,” _

She turned to look at him as she sang, with an expression on her face that made his knees weak.

_ “‘Cause every time I’m with you, I go into a zone _

_ And I remember all the places you wanna go _

_ Take me all the way, ooh _

_ Ain’t nobody gonna touch it, touch it, touch it,” _

_ “‘Cause every time I see you, I don’t wanna behave  _

_ I’m tired of being patient so let’s pick up the pace _

_ Take me all the way, ooh _

_ Ain’t nobody gonna touch it, touch it, touch it,” _

*****

When they got back to the hotel, Phineas followed Jenny into her room. As soon as he closed the door behind them, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her hard. She kissed back eagerly.

His hands started to roam down her body. She moaned softly as he cupped one of her breasts. He moved down further. She gasped when he slid a hand inside her pants and rubbed her through her panties. He smiled when she moaned his name. 

When she started to undress him, he moved them back towards the bed. They took off their clothes desperately, keeping their lips locked together as best as they could. When they were both naked, Phineas laid her down on the bed and crawled on top of her. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked her.

“Yes.” The look in her eyes was practically begging. “Please.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. Jenny let out a moan as he slid inside of her slowly. 

“Fuck,” she called out as they moved together. “Phineas,”

He swore he had never heard anything sexier than her voice saying his name like that. He wanted nothing more than to hear it again.

When they finished, he rolled off her and they crawled under the covers together. He wrapped his arms around her and she curled up to him tightly. And he felt completely content as he fell asleep holding her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: drug use

The next morning, when Phineas woke up with Jenny naked in his arms, what he had done the night before finally started to sink in. The guilt started to sink in. He had cheated on Charity. He had betrayed the woman he loved more than anything. 

But there was no going back now. His relationship with Jenny had crossed the point of no return. They couldn’t go back to just being friends. And honestly, he didn’t want to. 

Because despite how wrong his relationship with Jenny was, somehow it felt right. He liked it. He didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want to go back to the way things were. He wanted to wake up everyday with this beautiful, incredible woman in his arms. Because he loved her.

*****

That night, Jenny gave a concert at Cardinal Stadium in Louisville, Kentucky. Phineas stood backstage and watched helplessly as she started to cry on stage. She was singing Warrior, a song that he knew she had a deep connection to, but he didn’t know the story behind it. This was a song that she always seemed emotional singing, but this was the first time he saw her cry during a performance. 

_ “‘Cause all the pain and the truth _

_ I wear like a battle wound,”  _ she sang through her tears. 

_ “So ashamed, so confused _

_ I’m not broken or bruised,” _

_ “‘Cause now I’m a warrior, now I’ve got thicker skin _

_ I’m a warrior, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been _

_ And my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in _

_ I’m a warrior, and you can never hurt me,” _

_ “There’s a part of me I can’t get back _

_ A little girl grew up too fast _

_ All it took was once, I’ll never be the same _

_ Now I’m taking back my life today _

_ Nothing left that you can say _

_ ‘Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway,” _

Her voice was shakier than he had ever heard it, but somehow, she still sounded beautiful. 

_ “Now I’m a warrior, I’ve got thicker skin _

_ I’m a warrior, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been _

_ And my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in _

_ I’m a warrior, and you can never hurt me again,” _

Jenny had a hard time composing herself after the song was over, but she had several songs left in her set, and she had to keep going. He wanted to run out on stage and take her in his arms. To let her cry into his chest and tell her that everything would be alright. But he couldn’t do anything but stand and watch from a distance. 

When she walked offstage after the show, he reached out to her, but she walked right past him. He followed her to her dressing room, but she shut the door in his face. So he waited outside the door until she finally came back out. 

Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was still wet with tears. 

“Are you okay, Jenny?” Phineas asked her, gently taking her hand. 

She nodded.

“I’m sorry.” She told him.

“What are you sorry for, sweetheart?” He questioned. “You did great.”

“But I broke down during the performance.”

“It was an emotional song.” Phineas pointed out. “No one could fault you for crying. Besides, you got through it. You still sounded incredible.”

“That’s not the point.” Jenny retorted. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

She shook her head and walked away, and there was nothing he could do but follow her in silence. 

*****

Two nights later, Phineas stood on the balcony of his hotel room in Atlanta. They had just returned from her show at Mercedes-Benz Stadium. Normally, he would be in her room with her now. But she had been distant from him since her concert in Louisville. 

She hadn’t kissed him or even held his hand. She hadn’t wanted him to spend the night with her, or even go in her room. Tonight, like the previous two nights, she had asked him to leave her alone when they got back to the hotel.

He was worried about her. She clearly had a lot of issues. He was pretty sure she had some stuff from her past that she hadn’t worked through. But he had no idea what.

He wanted to go check on her and see if she was alright. But he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. He just hoped that she would come to him eventually. 

But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to go see her. Maybe he would go to her, and invite her to come outside with him. It was a lovely evening, and the balcony had a nice view of the city. Maybe they could have a drink or something.

He left his room and walked across the hall to Jenny’s. He knocked on the door. 

“Jenny,” he called. 

She answered the door almost immediately. Her hair was messy and her pupils were dilated. 

“What’s going on?” She said, faster than usual. 

“Nothing, I was just out on my balcony and I wondered if you’d like to join me.” Phineas explained. 

“Oh, no thanks.” Jenny shook her head. “I mean, it sounds lovely, but I really think I’d rather stay in here tonight.”

“Are you alright?”

“Of course, I’m fine.” 

She seemed as though her mood had entirely shifted from earlier. She had seemed depressed after her concert. But now, she looked almost euphoric. He had never seen her like this before. 

He was already starting to suspect something was up, when he noticed blood start to trickle from her nose.

“Jenny, your nose is bleeding.” 

She wiped her face, as if to get rid of it, but she just smeared it across her cheek.

“Here, let me get something to help you.” He offered.

He walked over to her nightstand to get her a tissue. And that’s when he saw a rolled up twenty dollar bill and the remnants of white powder.

“Jenny, what the hell?” He asked. “Are you doing drugs?”

“It’s none of your business!” Jenny shouted. 

“As someone who cares about you, I think it is my business.” He reached out to take her hand but she pushed him away.

“Just get the fuck out!” She yelled. “Go away.”

“Sweetheart, please,”

“Leave me alone!” She picked up a vase from the table and threw it at his head. 

Phineas sighed and started to leave. 

“Wait, wait, no, I’m sorry.” She replied. “Please don’t go.” 

He hadn’t wanted to leave her alone like this, anyway. The high would wear off eventually, and he didn’t want her to be by herself when it did. 

The next hour was rough. She was all over the place. And she only got worse once she came down from her high. She burst into tears and sank to the floor, shaking and sobbing. He sat down next to her and took her in his arms, praying he would never have to go through this with her again. He loved her far too much to be able to watch her do this to herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this so far. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of abuse, sexual assault, rape, self-harm, and drug use 
> 
> The end of this chapter gets intense.

Two days passed. Phineas had tried several times to get Jenny to talk about what happened. But she refused to explain. Was she a drug addict? Did she just do it once in a while? Somehow he doubted that had been her first time using. But he really had no idea.

However, he was keeping a much closer eye on her now. He slept in the same room with her every night now, and he was with her whenever he could be. He had also, obviously, disposed of any and all drug paraphernalia she had. 

He walked down the hallway with Jenny to her dressing room at Volvo Car Stadium in Charleston, South Carolina. It was by far the smallest venue she had performed in so far.

“I’m kind of looking forward to this.” She admitted. “It’s a lot closer to the kind of crowds I was used to performing for back in Europe, although it’s still bigger. I never went on an arena tour before I met you.”

“I’m glad you’re excited.” He replied. 

“I have to get ready.”

“Of course.”

He gave her a quick kiss before she went inside her dressing room. 

*****

Later that night, Phineas stood offstage as she sang, like he always did. Jenny was singing Praying, another emotional power ballad that she had a deep connection to. And as he listened to her sing, he found himself wondering what had happened to her. She had clearly been through some things. But he had no idea what. 

_ “Well, you almost had me fooled,”  _ she sang quietly.

_ “Told me that I was nothing without you  _

_ Oh, but after everything you’ve done _

_ I can thank you for how strong I have become,” _

_ “‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell  _

_ I had to learn how to fight for myself _

_ And we both know all the truth I could tell _

_ I’ll just say this as I wish you farewell,” _

_ “I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’ _

_ I hope your soul is changin’, changin’ _

_ I hope you find your peace  _

_ Falling on your knees, prayin’,” _

She teared up as she sang, but she didn’t break down like she had in Louisville. She got through the song and hit every note perfectly, even the high note after the bridge.

After the concert, he followed her back to her dressing room. She was quiet, as she had been a lot the last few days. But she hadn’t been as distant since he caught her doing drugs, even though he could tell she still wanted to push him away. 

He was never going to let her push him away again. 

*****

Later that night, Phineas laid in bed with Jenny in their hotel room. She had been silent for awhile, and he thought she was asleep. But then she spoke.

“My parents never really seemed to want me.” She told him out of nowhere. “They hadn’t planned on having me. They weren’t even married yet. Both of their parents were pissed about it. And I guess they held me responsible. My parents were always awful. They beat me, screamed at me, and berated me over every little thing. No matter what I did they were never proud of me. They never loved me. And they always told me that no one else would love me either. That I would never be good enough.”

“That’s horrible, sweetheart.” He replied. “You know they were wrong, right?”

She didn’t answer his question.

“One of my dad’s friends used to come over all the time. Dad said he was like a brother to him. But he was never an uncle to me. I was six the first time it happened. He took me up to the bathroom and started touching me. He started doing it every time he came to visit after that. I tried to tell my parents, but he denied it, and they didn’t believe me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Music has been my escape for as long as I can remember. I was pretty young when I decided I wanted to be a singer.” Jenny continued. “I left home when I was 16 and decided to try and get a record deal. I was already in a bad place mentally, and trying to get famous didn’t help. I started cutting, drinking, and doing drugs. I had no idea what I was doing, and I couldn’t even get signed. The agent I was working with wasn’t just interested in me for my talent. One night, he took me back to his flat and raped me. He did it several times after that. And he threatened to ruin me if I told anyone. Eventually, he lost interest in me and let me go.” 

Phineas didn’t know what to say to her.

“It took several years for my career to take off after that, but a few years ago, it finally did.” She told him. “I thought that my parents might finally be proud of me, now that I was famous, but they still weren’t. I don’t really talk to them anymore, or anyone back in Sweden. In fact, I didn’t really have any friends until I met you.”

“I’m so sorry, Jenny.” He told her. “About all of that. You deserve better. I hope you know that.”

She didn’t reply. 

“I will always be here for you.” He promised. “And I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter got dark, but I hope you’re enjoying this story. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: self-harm

Two nights later, Phineas sat in his hotel room in Miami after her concert at Hard Rock Stadium. Jenny was in the bathroom, and he was on the couch waiting for her. The hotel had given them a complimentary bottle of champagne to celebrate her successful tour, and he wanted to share it with her.

He checked the time on his phone and realized that Jenny had been in the bathroom for almost twenty minutes. He decided to go check on her. 

He knocked on the bathroom door. 

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Phineas called.

“I’m okay.” She sounded like she had been crying. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine!” She yelled back. “Fuck off!”

He knew she wasn’t fine. He didn’t want to invade her privacy, but he was worried about her. The door wasn’t locked, so he opened it. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but what he saw was far worse than anything he could have imagined.

Jenny stood in front of the sink, with a razor in her hand, blood dripping from her arm.

“Jenny, what the hell?” He grabbed the razor from her. “What are you doing?”

She had mentioned that she had harmed herself before, but he hadn’t realized she was still doing it. How had he not noticed?

“I’m just numbing the pain.” She replied sadly.

“You have to stop.” Phineas told her. “Hurting yourself won’t solve anything.”

“Why do you care?” She shot back. “You’re here because you can make money off of my talent. You don’t really care about me. No one does.”

“That’s not true, honey.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly. “I love you.”

Her eyes went wide and he realized he had never told her that before.

“I love you.” He repeated. “I love you so much. And I’m going to help you.”

“You can’t fix me.” 

“Maybe not. But I can try.”

*****

The next morning, Phineas decided to take Jenny out for breakfast after they checked out of the hotel. 

“Where do you want to go?” He asked her as they waited for their Uber. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. 

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you like?” He questioned. “Do you like pancakes?”

“Yeah.”

“How about IHOP?”

“I’ve never had IHOP before.” Jenny replied. 

“You’ve never had IHOP?”

“We don’t have IHOP in Europe.” 

“That settles it.” Phineas decided. “We’re going to IHOP.” 

When they got to the restaurant, Jenny reached for his hand as they walked inside, and he hoped no one recognized them. If anyone did notice them, they didn’t say anything. 

They both ordered pancakes, and for a few moments, they sat in silence after the waiter brought them their food. 

“Do you like it?” He asked her while they ate. 

She smiled and nodded, but didn’t say anything else for several minutes. 

“Did you mean what you said last night?” She asked him suddenly. 

“Every word of it.” 

“Do you really love me?”

“I do.” He replied sincerely.

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took longer than usual. Shit's hitting the fan in my life. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	12. Chapter 12

That night, Phineas sat on the bus with Jenny on the way from Miami to New Orleans. Her next concert wasn’t until the 23rd, so he was trying to plan out something special to do for her over the next couple of days. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Jenny said, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just have to pee. You can trust me to go to the bathroom by myself.” She replied, clearly noticing the skeptical look on his face. “I’ll be right back.”

She got up and walked to the bathroom at the back of the bus.

Suddenly, his phone rang. It was Charity.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey, Phin.” She sounded annoyed. “I was just calling to check in on you. We haven’t heard much from you the last few days. How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you and the girls?”

“We’re alright. But we miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Oh, Philip wanted to tell you to call him too.” She told him. “He says you’ve hardly talked to him or anyone else at the show since you left on your tour.”

“I’ll call him today.” 

“And what about me?” She questioned. “Are you gonna start calling me more? Or am I gonna have to call you if I want to talk to you? I miss you, and so do the girls. I don’t want to lose you again. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replied. “Can I talk to Charity and Helen?”

“Of course.” She agreed. “Girls, Daddy’s on the phone!”

A few moments later, he heard his daughters’ voices on the line.

“Hi, Daddy!” They said excitedly.

“Hi, girls. How are you?”

“We’re good.” Caroline answered. “But Helen has been getting into my stuff again.”

“I was not!”

“You were too! You were trying to put on my dance shoes yesterday.”

“She just wants to be like her big sister.” He pointed out.

“Well she can be like me when she’s old enough to take ballet classes.” Caroline replied.

“I don’t wanna take ballet.” Helen argued.

“Good, you’d suck anyway.”

“Hey, be nice.” He scolded. 

They talked for a few minutes before Charity told them it was time to go to bed. 

“I miss you.” He told them. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” They replied. 

“Bye.”

“Bye, Daddy!”

He hung up the phone, feeling guilty for not calling them. He missed them more than ever. He hoped they knew that.

*****

They arrived in New Orleans at about ten the next morning. They had the whole day and most of the next to spend in the city before her concert, and Phineas intended to make the most of it. During the day, they went to the National WWII museum, Jackson Square, and St. Louis Cathedral. But Jenny seemed to be most excited about what they were doing now. They were about to go on a haunted tour of the city, before heading to their hotel, the Dauphine Orleans, which was also haunted. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to sleeping in a haunted hotel, but Jenny had requested that they stay there, so he had obliged. 

As they followed the tour guide into a haunted cemetery, he tried to hide how terrified he was. But Jenny must’ve noticed anyway.

“Are you scared?” She teased. 

“Of course not.” He lied. “Ghosts aren’t even real.”

“Oh, I disagree.” She replied with a smile. “They’re very real. And right now, they’re all around us.”

“I don’t like that thought. You’re creeping me out.”

“You were already creeped out.” Jenny retorted. 

The tour was weird and a little scary, but thankfully, nothing really happened. He didn’t see any ghosts, and he didn’t think any had followed them out of the cemetery. But they were staying at a haunted hotel, so he didn’t feel too relieved. 

It was already pretty late by the time they checked into the Dauphine Orleans, so thankfully, Jenny didn’t want to take the time to explore it that night. Instead, they went straight to their room. The room was really nice, but the whole vibe of the hotel still made him feel uneasy. 

Phineas had a hard time falling asleep that night. Every time he was starting to drift off, he would hear a noise, and suddenly he was wide awake again. He thought Jenny was asleep, but apparently she was still awake as well. 

“I’m sorry about this.” She said, startling him. “I shouldn’t have insisted on staying here. That was selfish.”

“Don’t apologize.” He told her. “This is the one thing on this entire tour so far that you asked to do. This might not be my favorite place we’ve stayed, but I’m more than happy to stay here for you.” 

“Really?”

“Really.” He kissed her softly. “I’d do anything for you. I love you.”

*****

The next night, Phineas stood offstage while Jenny performed her concert at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. They’d had an enjoyable time that day. They explored the hotel, before going to the aquarium and the zoo, where he made sure to take lots of pictures for Caroline and Helen. After the concert, they were going to celebrate on Bourbon Street.

Jenny was currently singing Sweet But Psycho, a fun song from her first EP that had been a huge hit for her back in Europe. It was a crowd favorite in the States too.

_ “She’ll make you curse, but she a blessing _

_ She’ll rip your shirt within a second,”  _ she sang playfully. 

_ “You’ll be coming back, back for seconds  _

_ With your plate, you just can’t help it,” _

_ “No, no _

_ You’ll play along, let her lead you on _

_ You’ll be saying ‘No, no,’ _

_ Then saying ‘Yes, yes, yes,’ ‘cause she messing with your head,”  _

_ “Oh, she’s sweet but a psycho  _

_ A little bit psycho _

_ At night she’s screaming, ‘I’m-ma-ma-ma out my mind,’ _

_ Oh, she’s hot but a psycho _

_ So left but she’s right though _

_ At night she’s screaming, ‘I’m-ma-ma-ma out my mind,’” _

_ “Grab a cop gun kinda crazy  _

_ She’s poison but tasty _

_ Yeah, people say, ‘Run don’t walk away,’ _

_ ‘Cause she’s sweet but a psycho  _

_ A little bit psycho  _

_ At night she’s screaming, ‘I’m-ma-ma-ma out my mind,’ _

After the concert, they went down to Bourbon Street. They went to several bars and had way too much to drink. They had fun, although neither of them would remember much of it later.

By the time they made it back to the hotel, it didn’t even cross his mind that the place was haunted. All he knew at that point was that he wanted her. 

Phineas closed the door behind her and kissed her hard. They stumbled toward the bed, desperately taking off each other’s clothes. When they were naked, he laid Jenny back on the bed and fucked her until she screamed his name in pleasure. Then they fell asleep together without a care in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Two days passed. Phineas was on the tour bus with Jenny, on the way to Liberty Bowl Stadium in Memphis. She was cuddled up to him, taking a nap with her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, his phone rang. It startled him, but it didn’t wake Jenny. He picked it up. It was Philip. 

“Hello?”

“Phineas, is that you?” Philip asked sarcastically. “It’s been so long I think I forgot what your voice sounds like.”

“Philip, don’t be like that.” Phineas replied. “I’ve been busy on the tour.”

“So busy you forgot about us?” He questioned. “You haven’t called once since you left.”

“I didn’t forget about you, I just…,” he trailed off.

“You were just too caught up in fucking Jenny to call and check up on us?”

“What? What are you talking about?” He played innocent. 

How could Philip know? Where would he even get the idea?

“Don’t play dumb.” Philip retorted. “Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the rumors.”

“What rumors?” Phineas started to feel sick.

“The rumors that you’re having an affair with Jenny. That that’s the reason you went on this tour with her. They aren’t widespread, but they’re starting. And I have to be honest here, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were true.”

“They’re not true, don’t be ridiculous.” He replied. “I would never cheat on Charity.”

“Right.” Philip didn’t sound convinced.

“We’re almost at the stadium. I gotta go.” Phineas told him. “I’ll call you later.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“What was that about?” Jenny asked.

Phineas hadn’t even realized she’d woken up.

“Nothing.” He planted a kiss on her temple. “Don’t worry about it.”

*****

Another day had passed. Phineas was backstage at Nissan Stadium in Nashville, Tennessee. He had been trying not to think about what Phillip told him. No one else had confronted him about the rumors yet, so he wanted to just pretend he didn’t know about them. After all, ignorance was bliss. 

But he couldn’t get the rumors out of his head. What if they became more widespread? What if Jenny found out about them? What if Charity found out? What if she already knew? This was a nightmare scenario. Because if the media caught onto this, he couldn’t even truthfully deny it. The rumors were true. He was having an affair with Jenny, even if he didn’t like to think of it like that. 

_ “Greedy, ooh,”  _ Jenny started singing. 

_ “You know that I’m greedy for love,” _

_ “Boy you give me feelings never felt before _

_ I’m making it obvious by knocking at your door _

_ I know that I’m coming tonight _

_ You know I’m coming tonight _

_ Don’t want to deny it anymore,” _

_ “Been in this state of mind _

_ Been in this state of mind _

_ Been in this state of mind all night,” _

Phineas took out his phone and Googled “pt barnum jenny lind” just to see what would come up. Most of what he found were just articles about her performances on the tour. But he scrolled down far enough to find a reddit thread under r/TheGreatestShowOnEarth called “Are P.T. Barnum and Jenny Lind having an affair?”

_ “Baby, you got lucky, ‘cause you’re rocking with the best _

_ And I’m greedy _

_ ‘Cause I’m so greedy _

_ ‘Cause I’m so _

_ I ain’t talking money, I’m just physically obsessed _

_ And I’m greedy _

_ ‘Cause I’m so greedy,” _

He clicked on the thread and started to read the original post. 

“I’m not here to start rumors or drama. I’ve just been noticing that P.T. and Jenny seem to be way closer than just friends. First of all, they look at each other the way that people who are in love look at each other. Also I’ve seen pictures of them holding hands and stuff. I’ve even heard that they share a hotel room. And if they are having an affair, that would explain why he left not just the show, but his wife and daughters for literal months to go on this tour with her. 

“Again, I’m not here to start rumors, I just think it’s odd.” 

_ “‘Cause I’m so greedy, ooh _

_ You know that I’m greedy for love _

_ You know that I’m greedy for love,” _

Phineas scrolled down and read the rest of the thread. Some people didn’t believe the rumors at all. But some did. 

“Normally I wouldn’t subscribe to rumors like this.” One person wrote. “But I did see them at an IHOP in Miami holding hands. Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but they certainly looked like they might be romantically involved.”

_ “‘Cause I’m so greedy, ooh _

_ You know that I’m greedy for love  _

_ You know that I’m greedy for love  _

_ ‘Cause I’m so,” _

“I was an Uber driver for them in Cincinnati, and they were all over each other in the backseat.” Another person wrote.

“My best friend works at the Dauphine Orleans hotel, and checked them into their room. Another employee told her that she heard them having sex in their room.”

Phineas felt his stomach drop. He had thought they were being careful. Evidently not. If these rumors got out, the scandal could ruin him. And this time, there would be no coming back from it.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! Sorry it’s taken me so long to update this. It’s been hard to motivate myself to write lately. Anyway, enjoy!

Two days passed. Phineas still hadn’t said anything to Jenny about the rumors. He hadn’t heard anything about them either, outside of the reddit thread. He had spoken to both Phillip and Charity on the phone, and neither of them had mentioned them either. And Charity would’ve brought it up if she’d heard something. He hoped this meant the rumors would just go away. But realistically, he knew better. 

It was only a matter of time before the rumors started to spread. It was only a matter of time until Twitter, and the media, and the tabloids got ahold of them. He had already had one cheating scandal, and he had very nearly lost everything over it. This time it would be even worse, not least because this time the rumors were actually true. 

Jenny was smart, but she was also impulsive. She could say or do anything if her emotions got to her in the moment. Every time she took the stage, he prayed to himself that she wouldn’t say something that would give away their secret. And tonight was no different. 

She was on stage at the Enterprise Center in St. Louis, home of the St. Louis Blues, who had very recently won the Stanley Cup for the first time in franchise history. He had told her about this earlier, but he hadn’t thought she was listening. But apparently, she had been.

She didn’t talk a lot during her concerts, so when she started talking after Greedy in the first set, he held his breath. 

“As a foreigner, I don’t follow American sports that closely.” Jenny began. He let out a sigh of relief. “But I’ve been told that the St. Louis Blues won the Stanley Cup earlier this month.”

The crowd cheered.

“And it just so happens that I know their victory song very well.” She continued. “So I decided to sing it for you.”

The victory song of the Blues was Gloria by Laura Branigan, a classic pop hit from the 80s. He hadn’t known she was going to sing it tonight, but he had no doubt in his mind that she would kill it.

_ “Gloria,”  _ Jenny sang.  _ “You’re always on the run now _

_ Running after somebody _

_ You gotta get him somehow,” _

_ “I think you’ve got to slow down _

_ Before you start to blow it _

_ I think you’re headed for a breakdown _

_ So be careful not to show it,” _

_ “You really don’t remember _

_ Was it something that he said? _

_ Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?” _

_ “Gloria, don’t you think you’re fallin’? _

_ If everybody wants you _

_ Why isn’t anybody calling? _

_ You don’t have to answer _

_ Leave them hangin’ on the line _

_ Oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria,” _

_ “Gloria, I think they got your number _

_ I think they got the alias _

_ That you’ve been living under _

_ But you really don’t remember  _

_ Was it something that they said? _

_ Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?” _

*****

Two nights passed, and Phineas still hadn’t heard anything else about the rumors. Not until he got a call from Charity after Jenny’s concert in Chicago. He was in his hotel room and Jenny was in the bathroom.

“Hey, Chairy,” he picked up the phone, not realizing anything was wrong. “I’ve been meaning to call, I-,”

“You what?” She cut him off. “You’ve been too busy fucking Jenny?”

His stomach dropped. 

“What are you talking about?” He feigned ignorance.

“I know about the rumors, Phineas.” She told him. “Philip told me. He said I deserved to hear about it from someone I knew, rather than the internet.”

“What rumors?”

“Don’t play dumb.” She snapped. “I know you know about them.”

He sighed.

“Charity, there is nothing going on between me and Jenny.” He insisted. “I told you that I would never cheat on you. And I meant that. I’m not cheating on you. I promise.”

“I want to believe you, Phin.” She replied. “I want to trust you.”

“You can. I promise. And if you still don’t think you can trust me, I’ll come home right now. I’ll leave the tour. I can’t lose you again.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. It would do nothing but ignite more rumors. Besides, if you’re really not sleeping with her, then you have no reason to come home. Other than the fact that Caroline and Helen really miss you. And so do I.”

“I miss you too.” He told her. “I promise I’ll call more often. I love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight, Phin.”

“Goodnight, Chairy.”

He hung up the phone. Jenny came out of the bathroom.

“Was that your wife?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“What did she want?”

“She was just calling to see how I’m doing.”

She walked over to him, looking sad, and he wrapped her in his arms.

“What’s wrong, love?” He asked.

“You can’t love me.” Jenny replied. “Not if you already love her. And of course you do, she’s your wife.”

“Jenny, sweetheart, I do love you. I promise.”

“Like you promised Charity you’re not cheating on her?”

He sighed. He hadn’t realized she had heard anything from the bathroom.

“Honey, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.”

“That’s not true. And even if it is, I’m not sure I want it to be. I love you. But I don’t want to be a homewrecker. I don’t want to ruin your life.”

“You’re not ruining my life. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She replied sadly. “And I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” He kissed her. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I’ll have more soonish, or at least I’ll try. Thanks for reading! :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: self-harm

Phineas was starting to get nervous after his conversation with Charity. He knew deep down that she hadn’t bought it when he said he wasn’t cheating. But the rumors still weren’t widespread, so he was hoping he could keep a lid on them. The vast majority of people still didn’t suspect a thing. Or at least they didn’t before Jenny’s concert at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis. 

“Tonight is my first concert in July.” She said towards the end of the first set of her show. “I’ve been writing some new music recently, so I thought it would be fitting for you guys to be the first ones to hear one of my new songs.”

The crowd cheered. Phineas’ stomach dropped. He’d known she was writing new music, but he hadn’t realized she planned on debuting a new song tonight. She hadn’t mentioned anything to him about it. But his gut told him this song was about him. 

“This song is called Symphony.” She announced. “And it’s about someone who has become very special to me recently.”

_“I’ve been hearin’ symphonies,”_ Jenny sang.

_“Before, all I heard was silence_

_A rhapsody for you and me_

_And every melody is timeless,”_

_“Life was stringin’ me along_

_Then you came and you cut me loose_

_Was solo, singin’ on my own_

_Now I can’t find the key without you,”_

_“And now your song is on repeat_

_And I’m dancin’ on to your heartbeat_

_And when you’re gone, I feel incomplete_

_So, if you want the truth,”_

_“I just wanna be part of your symphony,”_ She belted. 

_Will you hold me tight and not let go?_

_Symphony_

_Like a love song on the radio_

_Will you hold me tight and not let go?”_

She walked off stage to him after the set.

“What did you think of the song?” She asked him.

“It was beautiful.” He told her. 

It wasn’t a lie. The song was gorgeous. But he worried that it would add fuel to the rumors. He didn’t tell her that though. That would be a conversation for later. For now, he just followed her back to her dressing room. 

*****

““The song. Why would you go out and sing a new song like that? Are you trying to add fuel to the rumors?”

“What rumors?” Jenny asked.

He sighed and took out his phone, pulling up the reddit thread he’d saved.

“The rumors about us.” He handed her the phone.

“I didn’t know about this. But you did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. And I didn’t want this to come between us.”

“You should’ve told me.” She argued. “I never would’ve sung that song if I’d known there were rumors about us.”

“You still should’ve known better than to sing it.”

“Don’t put this on me.” She shot back. “You knew about the rumors and you chose not to tell me. If my song spreads those rumors, that’s on you.”

“I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

Jenny didn’t reply. She just turned around and started to leave.

“Where are you going?” Phineas called after her.

“I’m finding somewhere else to sleep.” She answered, not looking back at him. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

*****

Phineas didn’t see Jenny again until she got on the tour bus the next morning. He had no idea where she had gone the night before and she wouldn’t tell him. She wouldn’t talk to him at all. She wouldn’t even sit by him. They had originally planned to spend a few hours at the Mall of America before heading out of town, but he figured it wouldn’t be any fun if she wouldn’t even speak to him. Besides, it was probably best for them not to be seen in public alone. So now, they had a six and a half hour drive to Kansas City ahead of them, and he already knew it was going to feel like thirteen. 

After about an hour, she got up and went to the bathroom. Another half an hour passed, and she still hadn’t come out. He decided to go check on her, even though he knew she wouldn’t want him to. He knocked on the door.

“Are you alright, Jenny?” He called.

“Go away.” She replied, sounding like she had been crying.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Go away.”

“I’m not going away until you tell me what’s wrong.” He told her.

“There’s nothing wrong!” Jenny shouted.

“Then can I come in?” 

“No!”

“Jenny, sweetheart, please.” Phineas begged. “Let me in.”

The door opened. Jenny stood in front of him with a knife in her hand. Blood ran down her arms and tears down her face. 

“Is this what you wanted to see?” 

Phineas shut the door behind them and took the knife from her.

“You have to stop this, love.” He kissed her softly. 

She didn’t reply. 

Phineas helped her clean up and bandage her arms. He put the knife in his pocket and made a mental note to get rid of it later, although he knew she could find another one if she wanted to. He led her out of the bathroom and sat down with her, more worried for her than ever.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” She replied quietly.

That was all she said for the rest of the trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying this story. I’m trying to get back in to a more regular writing schedule, so hopefully I’ll be able to update this faster than I have been.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! :)


	16. Chapter 16

Jenny’s concert in Kansas City was on the Fourth of July. It was supposed to be a night of celebration. They were even having fireworks after the show for the occasion, thanks to the concert venue, Arrowhead Stadium, being an open air arena. Phineas just hoped that everything would go down as planned.

Jenny was still upset with him, even though she pretended like she wasn’t. As far as he knew, she hadn’t been cutting herself in the last two days, and he was trying his best to keep an eye on her, but he had no way of knowing for sure. And he had no way of knowing what she might do tonight. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to say or do something stupid.

But the show had gone down as it was supposed to. She was on her last song, and she hadn’t said or done anything that might make people suspicious yet. She always ended her shows with Dangerous Woman, which had been one of her biggest hits back in Europe and had quickly risen up the charts once she gained popularity in America. It was a crowd favorite. 

_“Somethin’ ‘bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman,”_ she belted. 

_“Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout you_

_Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn’t_

_Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ bout you,”_

_“All girls wanna be like that_

_Bad girls underneath like that_

_You know how I’m feeling inside,”_

_“All girls wanna be like that_

_Bad girls underneath like that_

_You know how I’m feeling inside,”_

_“Yeah, there’s somethin’ ‘bout you boy_

_Yeah, there’s somethin’ ‘bout you boy, yeah_

_Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout_

_You,”_

The crowd cheered when she finished singing and the fireworks started. Jenny looked offstage and motioned for him to join her. He shook his head, but she smiled and urged him forward. 

“No,” he mouthed.

“Come on,” she insisted. 

Phineas knew he shouldn’t go out on stage with her. But he wanted to. And he also felt like he had little choice, unless he wanted to hurt her more than he already had. So he walked out on stage with her.

Jenny sat down on the edge of the stage to watch the fireworks and he sat down next to her. She reached out and took his hand. He knew he should pull away, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. He just sat there with her and watched the fireworks.

*****

Phineas should’ve known better than to sit on stage and hold hands with Jenny like that. He did know better. He knew that would only fuel the rumors. But he did it anyway. And now the Internet was speculating more than ever. 

There were pictures all over social media of the two of them on stage at Arrowhead Stadium. The pictures were even featured on Entertainment Tonight. He figured it was safe to say things were getting out of hand.

“We need to put out some kind of statement.” He told Jenny on the bus the next day.

“Why? Isn’t acknowledging the rumors just going to draw more attention to them?” 

“Because people are asking questions, and we need to give them answers.”

“So you want to lie to them.” Jenny replied. “Convince them I mean nothing to you.”

“It’s not like that.” He reassured her. “All I’m going to say is that we’re just friends. That there’s nothing going on between us and I would never cheat on my wife.”

“So this is about you.” She remarked. “This is about protecting your reputation.”

“It’s about protecting both of our reputations.” 

“You keep telling yourself that.”

She got up and went somewhere else on the bus. And he started writing his statement for Twitter and Instagram. He briefly wondered if Jenny was right. If this would do more harm than good, for both the rumors and their relationship. But he pushed the thought away. He had to do this. He had to officially deny the rumors. Then they would go away and everything would go back to normal.

But deep down, he knew better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I’ll have more soon. As always, thanks for reading! :)


	17. Chapter 17

Things were starting to get out of hand. Two days had passed since Phineas released his official statement. But Jenny had been right. It had done nothing but give the rumors more fuel. More validation. 

Charity hadn’t called him since before the concert in Kansas City, and she hadn’t been answering his calls either. She hadn’t even answered his texts.

They were in Denver now, and pretty much avoiding going out in public except for the concert. He wouldn’t even be watching her from offstage tonight. He was waiting at the hotel, while she went to Empower Field at Mile High by herself. They had separate hotel rooms now too. He didn’t want to risk them being seen together at all. 

He had briefly considered leaving the tour altogether. But he decided not to. He had taken the hint that he wouldn’t receive a warm welcome from Charity if he went home. And besides, he didn’t want to leave Jenny. He couldn’t leave her. He was too in love with her.

*****

Three days later, Phineas woke up alone in a Dallas hotel room to some really strange news. And it wasn’t good news. Charity had released a single overnight. It was called Without Me. There hadn’t been much promotion for it, just a few social media posts. But it had gone viral.

The moment he heard about it, he opened Spotify and found it. He had to listen to it.

_ “Found you when your heart was broke,”  _ Charity sang.

_ “I filled your cup until it overflowed _

_ Took it so far to keep you close _

_ I was afraid to leave you on your own,” _

He had forgotten how beautiful of a voice she had. But the words she sang were making his stomach flip.

_ “I said I’d catch you if you fall _

_ And if they laugh then fuck ‘em all _

_ And then I got you off your knees _

_ Put you right back on your feet _

_ Just so you could take advantage of me,” _

This was a direct message to him. To remind him how she stayed with him, despite the ridicule she got from her rich friends and family who thought he was beneath her. How she stayed by his side through everything. Helped him get as far as he did. Believed in him. Came back to him when he thought he’d lost her. Helped him rebuild when he thought he’d lost everything. 

And now he’d betrayed her. He’d left her and their children. She would never forgive him for this.

_ “Tell me, how’s it feel sittin’ up there _

_ Feelin’ so high but too far away to hold me _

_ You know I’m the one who put you up there _

_ Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?” _

_ “Thinkin’ you could live without me _

_ Thinkin’ you could live without me _

_ Baby, I’m the one who put you up there _

_ I don’t know why _

_ Thinkin’ you could live without me _

_ Live without me _

_ Baby, I’m the one who put you up there _

_ I don’t know why,” _

The song made him feel like vomiting. 

_ “You don’t have to say just what you did,”  _ she sang during the bridge. 

_ “I already know _

_ I had to go and find out from them _

_ So tell me how’s it feel,” _

Charity knew the truth about what was going on between him and Jenny. Of course she did. She was no fool. And now she was calling him out in front of the whole world.

He sighed and threw his phone down. It looked like he wouldn’t be going to the concert tonight either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Without Me by Halsey was the song that inspired this whole AU. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Phineas had no idea what to do anymore. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Two days had passed since Charity released her song. She wouldn’t answer his phone calls, and the distance he had been putting between himself and Jenny seemed to be growing by the hour. 

He was torn. He could try to fix his relationship with Charity, or he could try to fix his relationship with Jenny. He couldn’t do both. And at this point, he was starting to doubt he could do either. 

He was sitting in his hotel room in Houston alone. He knew Jenny would be getting back from her concert soon, but he wasn’t expecting her to come and see him. So the knock on his door surprised him.

“Phineas?” She called. “Can I come in?”

He got up and unlocked the door for her.

“I wasn’t expecting you.” He said as he let her in.

He shut the door behind them. 

“I needed to see you.” She replied. “I’ve missed you.”

“I didn’t leave.”

“It feels like you did.” She reached for his hand. “I need you.”

He kissed her softly.

“I’m right here.” He promised. 

“Then start coming to my concerts again.” She requested. “Please.” 

He sighed. He knew it was a bad idea. But he couldn’t turn her down. Not when she looked so sad.

“Alright.” He agreed. “I will.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

*****

The next two days were fairly uneventful. Phineas and Jenny both did their best to avoid the rumors. At this point, he had decided that the only way he was going to get through this without losing his mind was to just ignore it. Pretending it wasn’t happening was a terrible decision and he knew it, but he felt like it was his only option.

But of course, he couldn’t avoid it forever. The morning of Jenny’s concert in Phoenix, Charity announced on Instagram and Twitter that she was releasing an EP called Tightrope on August 14th, which was exactly a month away. She also announced that she would be releasing another promotional single called A Million Dreams next Friday, on July 26th. The Internet was buzzing with speculation about the EP. A lot of people seemed to think that the EP would focus on her marriage and Phineas’ alleged affair. And given that she hadn’t spoken to him since before she released Without Me, he figured they were probably right. 

His gut instinct told him it was time to go into full damage control mode. To go home and patch things up with Charity, so that by the time the EP came out, no matter what was on it, they could believably assure everyone that their marriage was fine now. Doing that would mean leaving Jenny, which he desperately didn’t want to do. But at this point, keeping his family together needed to be his priority. 

Phineas walked across the hall to Jenny’s room and knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” She asked.

“It’s me.” He answered. “Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah.”

He walked in, and she seemed to sense that whatever he had to say wasn’t good. 

He sat down next to her on the couch. 

“There’s no easy way to say this.” He told her. “I have to leave the tour. I love you, and I want to stay more than anything. But I have to go home.”

“I understand.” She nodded. “You need to save your marriage. It wouldn’t make you look very good if you left Charity for me.”

“It’s not like that.”

“It is and you know it.” She sighed. “Will you still come to my concert tonight?”

“I will.” 

*****

That evening, Phineas stood backstage at State Farm Stadium in Phoenix. He hadn’t been expecting this concert to be easy to watch, but he’d had no idea how difficult it would really be.

Jenny started crying when she sang Never Enough, which made him feel awful. But she recovered for most of the first half. But in the second half of the concert, she started to get emotional again. A feeling of dread rose inside him. 

“I have another new song I’d like to debut for you guys tonight.” She said. The audience cheered, not noticing the sadness in her voice that he did. “It’s called Sad Girl, and I hope you like it.”

She hadn’t told him that she was debuting a new song tonight, but then again, why would she? He was about to leave her.

_ “Being a mistress on the side,”  _ she sang.

_ “It might not appeal to fools like you _

_ Creeping around on the side _

_ Might not be something you would do,” _

_ “But you haven’t seen my man _

_ You haven’t seen my man _

_ You haven’t seen my man  _

_ You haven’t seen him,” _

_ “He’s got the fire and he walks with it _

_ He’s got the fire and he talks with it _

_ His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side _

_ Makes me a sad, sad girl _

_ His money on the side, money on the side _

_ Makes me a sad, sad girl,” _

This was like a nightmare coming to life. Jenny was practically admitting to the whole world that they were having an affair.

_ “I’m a sad girl _

_ I’m a sad girl  _

_ I’m a sad girl,”  _ Jenny sang.

_ “I’m a sad girl _

_ I’m a bad girl _

_ I’m a bad girl,” _

Before the last song of the concert, Jenny beckoned Phineas onto the stage. He didn’t want to go out, but he knew he couldn’t refuse her.

“I’m sure you all know P.T. Barnum.” She said. “He’s been here for the whole tour, but this will be his last show with me. So I wanted to give you guys an opportunity to give him the applause he deserves for putting all this together.”

Jenny took his hands as the crowd cheered. Then she leaned in and kissed him. She gave him a smile when she pulled away, and he realized the real reason she called him out here. It wasn’t to give him recognition. It was for revenge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this so far. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter's a bit shorter than usual.

Pictures and videos of Phineas and Jenny’s kiss instantly went viral. Things had gone from bad to disastrous. He was still on damage control mode, although he doubted there was much he could do at this point. But he had to leave the tour now. She had left him no choice.

The next morning, he booked a flight back to New York City. He had been living out of a suitcase for over a month now, so packing was easy. The hard part would be telling Jenny. Part of him wanted to just leave without saying anything. She was going to be devastated, and he didn’t want to see the hurt and sadness on her face and know he was the cause of it. But he also knew he would cause her even more pain if he left with no explanation. She would be getting on the bus to go to Los Angeles in a few hours, and he needed to be the one to tell her that he wouldn’t be getting on it with her. 

He walked across the hall to her room and knocked on the door. 

“Can I come in?” He called.

At first there was no answer. He supposed she might still be asleep. Or more likely that she was ignoring him. But after a few minutes, he heard footsteps inside the room. She opened the door, already looking upset. 

“I’m surprised to see you at my door.” She remarked. “I would’ve thought you’d be avoiding me like the plague after what I did last night.”

“I just came to tell you that I’m flying back to New York tonight.” He explained. “I thought you deserved to hear it from me.”

“You also think I deserve to be abandoned for causing trouble in your marriage, like all of this is solely my fault.” She snapped. “But it takes two to tango.”

“I’m not blaming you for all the issues in my marriage.” Phineas defended himself. “Charity and I had problems long before I met you. But what you did last night was out of line. You basically admitted to the whole world that we’re having an affair. This could ruin me.”

“When you’re careless with other people, Phineas, you bring ruin upon yourself.” Jenny replied. “You should go. You have your precious reputation to save.”

He wanted to give her one last kiss. To tell her goodbye, and that he loved her. But she slammed the door in his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this story. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	20. Chapter 20

Phineas stepped off the plane at six the next morning, at JFK Airport in New York City. It had been less than a day since he had last seen Jenny, and he already missed her. But he told himself that he was doing what he had to do to save both his marriage and his career.

He took an Uber back home. It had been less than two months since he’d last been here, but it felt like it had been years. He was looking forward to seeing Caroline and Helen again. He was less looking forward to seeing Charity. He loved his wife, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t going to get a warm welcome from her after what he’d done. 

He nervously walked up to the door and went inside. His daughters immediately ran to greet him.

“Daddy!” They squealed excitedly. “You’re home!”

“I am.” He hugged them. 

“We missed you.” Caroline told him.

“I missed you too.”

He gave them each a kiss on the head before letting go. When he stood back up, he saw Charity standing there, staring at him. 

“Hey,” he greeted her awkwardly. 

She opened her mouth to reply, but instead, she started crying and ran away. He tried to follow her, but she ran to the bathroom and locked the door. 

*****

Phineas ended up sleeping in the guest bedroom that night. Charity wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. He had tried to talk to her, but she didn’t want to listen. He hoped eventually she would come around. He had to save his marriage. Or else leaving Jenny would’ve been pointless.

The next morning, he decided to call Jenny to see how she was doing. She didn’t answer. He texted her, but he didn’t expect her to reply to that either. He hoped she would, but she left him on read. He imagined she wouldn’t want to talk to him again anytime soon. 

Charity still wouldn’t talk to him, and the silence was becoming unbearable. So that afternoon, he decided to go see how the show was doing. When he stepped inside the tent, Anne and W.D. were practicing their act on the trapeze. He found Philip watching them in the bleachers. He sat down beside him.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you back here so soon, Phineas.” Philip remarked with a twinge of bitterness. 

“I wasn’t expecting to be back so soon.” Phineas replied. “But it’s good to see you.”

“If you’d bothered to keep in touch with us while you were on the tour, I might believe that.” 

“Philip, it’s not like that. I-,”

“I know, I know.” He cut him off. “You were a little distracted. The whole world knows that now. And I get it. She’s not my type, but she’s beautiful, not to mention talented. But was she worth abandoning the show for?”

“I didn’t abandon the show.”

“Yes, you did. Really, I should’ve seen it coming. You’re only invested in something until a better opportunity comes along.” 

“I love her, Philip.” He confessed. 

“Then why did you leave her?”

“You know why.”

“Right. To save face. Because it’s all about appearances with you. It doesn’t matter to you if you’re lying as long as you look successful. And the world finding out about your affair with Jenny put your perfect appearance in jeopardy.” 

Philip was right, but Phineas didn’t want to admit it. So he sat there in silence.

“Admit it, Phineas.” Philip said. “You’re a narcissistic ass who doesn’t care about how your actions impact the people around you, as long as you benefit from them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	21. Chapter 21

A month passed. Jenny had finished the tour alone, and as far as Phineas knew, was back in Sweden. She still wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Charity’s highly anticipated EP would be dropping at midnight, and he couldn’t go to sleep until he listened to it. She still wasn’t speaking to him unless she absolutely had to, so he had almost no details about the songs on it. Her second promotional single, A Million Dreams, had been fairly innocent. It was apparently a song she had written years ago, towards the beginning of their marriage. So it was about Phineas, but it had nothing to do with their affair. But that didn’t make him at all hopeful that the rest of the songs wouldn’t be. 

He spent quite a while just staring at the time on his phone, until the time and date finally read:

12:00

Friday, August 14.

He opened his Spotify app and looked up Charity. There was a new banner on her profile for her Tightrope EP. He clicked on it and read the track listing.

  1. Bad Decisions
  2. Tightrope
  3. Without Me 
  4. A Million Dreams 
  5. The Cure
  6. For You 
  7. New Years Day
  8. Thinking About You 



He took a deep breath and clicked the play button. The first song, Bad Decisions, was fun, but lyrically didn’t seem to be about him. If it was, then it was another song she had written a long time ago. But the second song, Tightrope, had definitely been written recently. And it had definitely been written about him. 

_ “Some people long for a life that is simple and planned _

_ Tied with a ribbon,”  _ she sang.

_ “Some people won’t sail the sea ‘cause they’re safer on land _

_ To follow what’s written,” _

_ “But I’d follow you to the great unknown _

_ Off to a world we call our own,” _

_ “Hand in my hand  _

_ And we promised to never let go _

_ We’re walking a tightrope _

_ High in the sky  _

_ We can see the whole world down below _

_ We’re walking a tightrope,” _

_ “Never sure, never know how far we could fall _

_ But it’s all an adventure  _

_ That comes with a breathtaking view _

_ Walking a tightrope _

_ With you,” _

Phineas felt tears well up in his eyes. He fully expected Charity to call him out on this EP. But for some reason, he hadn’t realized how much it would hurt. 

_ “Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between _

_ Desert and ocean,”  _ Charity sang in the second verse. 

_ “You pulled me in and together we’re lost in a dream _

_ Always in motion,” _

_ “So I risk it all just to be with you _

_ And I risk it all for this life we choose,” _

_ “Hand in my hand _

_ And you promised to never let go _

_ We’re walking a tightrope _

_ High in the sky _

_ We can see the whole world down below _

_ We’re walking a tightrope,” _

_ “Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall? _

_ Well, it’s all an adventure _

_ That comes with a breathtaking view _

_ Walking a tightrope _

_ With you,” _

Phineas started crying, and he cried through the entire rest of the album, even though most of it wasn’t about his affair. The only other song that called him out, besides Without Me, was For You, where she absolutely eviscerated him. 

_ “Reasons why you ran don’t make you a good man _

_ Yes, I understand,” _

_ “You were on time at the wrong time _

_ I was debating, but tried and I don’t know why _

_ You can act cold on a dime and so outta line,” _

_ “For you _

_ I’d do anything for you,”  _ she belted. 

_ “Nail my heart to the ceiling _

_ Put my fist through a wall,” _

_ “How come I stick around when I break down? _

_ I take the blows like a champion, but I get nothing at all,” _

_ “Reasons for my hope all make me a big joke _

_ I already know,” _

_ “You were just fine, I was just fine _

_ Why did we turn a good time to a dark one? _

_ I give you a chance but the better man never comes,” _

_ “For you _

_ I’d do anything for you _

_ Nail my heart to the ceiling _

_ I’d put my fist through a wall,” _

_ “How come I stick around when I break down? _

_ I take the blows like a champion, but I get nothing at all _

_ But I get nothing at all,” _

*****

Phineas couldn’t sleep after he listened to the album either. He felt guiltier than ever about what he’d done to Charity. He’d truly never meant to hurt her. He’d just fallen in love with someone else. Maybe that was his fault. Maybe that was no one’s fault. But it wasn’t Charity’s fault. And she didn’t deserve the pain he’d caused her.

He knew he had to talk to her. He had to make her listen. And he didn’t think he could wait until the morning. He got out of bed and walked down the hallway to the master bedroom. The bedroom that he had once shared with her. 

“Charity,” he called softly as he opened the door. She wasn’t asleep either. She turned her head to look at him, but said nothing. “Can I come in?”

“You’re already here.” She pointed out. “I take it you listened to the album.”

“I did.” He nodded. “And I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. For everything. What I did to you was wrong. You deserve better than that.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “But I want you. I love you. I’ve tried to make myself stop. I’ve tried to move on from you. But I can’t.”

Phineas wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. Part of him still did love Charity, even though he loved Jenny more. But he had left Jenny to fix things with his wife. He couldn’t tell her he was in love with someone else, even though deep down he knew she knew. 

“I love you too, Charity.” He told her, sitting down on the bed next to her. He took her hand, but she pulled away. 

“Please don’t lie to me.” 

“I’m not lying.” He insisted. “I love you. I never stopped.”

“I never stopped loving you either.” She replied. “But I think you knew that.” 

“Can I stay in here tonight?” He asked, somewhat hesitantly. 

She stared at him for a moment before nodding and moving over. He laid down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. He sighed. This felt familiar. But it didn’t feel right anymore. He suspected it never would again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	22. Chapter 22

Another month passed. Phineas wanted things to get better. But they only got worse. He and Charity put on a united front in public, but behind closed doors, she was more distant than ever. She was trying to give him another chance, but she hadn’t forgiven him. He suspected she never would. He certainly didn’t deserve her forgiveness. 

He still missed Jenny. He woke up every morning and wished she was there, in his arms. But she still wouldn’t return his calls or texts. And now, she’d announced she was releasing a new album called Imagine on October 11th. She’d already dropped a new single and music video. It was called Woman Like Me, and it featured Nicki Minaj on a verse. And he was happy for her. This was a big deal. He wished he could be with her to celebrate it. 

He was relieved that the song wasn’t about him leaving, although she may still have written some of the lyrics about him, assuming she’d written the song while they were on tour. Before shit hit the fan and he broke her heart. 

_ “I made a few mistakes, I regret it nightly,”  _ she sang on the chorus.

_ “I broke a couple hearts that I wear on my sleeve _

_ My mama always said, “Girl, you’re trouble” and _

_ And now I wonder, could you fall for a woman like me,” _

_ “And everytime we touch, boy, you make me feel weak _

_ I can tell you’re shy and I think you’re so sweet _

_ Spending every night under covers and _

_ Still I wonder, could you fall for a woman like me,” _

Phineas knew that there were bound to be songs on the album about their affair, though. And about how he left her. He regretted leaving her, but it’s what he thought he’d had to do. He was in love with Jenny, but he’d blown it. She would never forgive him. And he would probably never see her again. 

*****

A week later, Jenny dropped another single. This time, it was the title song of the album, Imagine. He had been right to think that he would be the subject of some of the songs on it. But nothing could’ve prepared him for how painful the song would be to hear. 

_ “Knew you were perfect after the first kiss _

_ Took a deep breath like, ‘Ooh,’”  _ she sang in the second verse. 

_ “Feels like forever, baby, I never thought that it would be you,” _

_ “Tell me your secrets, all of the creep shit _

_ That’s how I know it’s true  _

_ Baby, direct it, name in the credits _

_ Like the movies do,” _

_ “Click, click, click and post _

_ Drip-drip-dripeed in gold _

_ Quick, quick, quick, let’s go _

_ Kiss me and take off your clothes,” _

_ “Imagine a world like that,”  _ Jenny belted.

_ “Imagine a world like that _

_ We go like up ‘til I’m ‘sleep on your chest _

_ Love how my face fits so good in your neck _

_ Why can’t you imagine a world like that? _

_ Imagine a world,” _

Phineas could imagine it. For a short time, he had lived in that world. In her world. And he had loved every second of it. He wished every day he could go back. But he had made his decision. And there was nothing he could do now but regret it. 

*****

When October 11th finally came, Phineas listened to the album as soon as he could. He found it on Spotify and opened it, reading the track listing.

  1. Into You 
  2. Borderline ft Missy Elliot 
  3. Woman Like Me ft Nicki Minaj 
  4. Moonlight 
  5. Lightweight
  6. Needy
  7. Breathing 
  8. Symphony
  9. Sad Girl
  10. In My Head
  11. Set Fire to the Rain
  12. Phin’s Song (Gave It Away)
  13. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
  14. Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have
  15. Imagine 



He knew he was screwed the second he saw his name in the title of one of the songs. Any hope he had of saving his marriage, his relationship with Jenny, or his career instantly evaporated. But he listened to the album anyway. 

Every song felt like it had been written about him, at various points during and after their relationship. And every line she sang made him miss her more. He was crying inconsolably by the time he reached Breathing, and he found himself glad he was listening to the album alone in the guest bedroom with the door locked. 

The most damning song to him was Phin’s Song (Gave It Away). If he had hoped before that he might be able to get back together with him someday, the lyrics of this song made it very clear he had blown his chance with her. 

_ “Well, if you don’t want to see the girl I want to be _

_ Then why, why should I listen?”  _ Jenny sang in the chorus.

_ “If you don’t want to do the things I need from you _

_ Goodbye, goodbye _

_ ‘Cause I gave it away, I gave it away, I gave it away _

_ And I’m taking it right back,” _

_ “I’m no blow up doll, no free-for-all _

_ No slave to your decision _

_ Gotta find a way to break the spell _

_ To get the hell away from those who block my vision,” _

_ “You used me as a fragment of your grand design, hey _

_ And you, you don’t get to put me on your bottom line _

_ You don’t get what’s mine, and I’m doing fine,” _

Phineas was relieved to hear her say she was doing fine, but the lyrics of some of her other songs made him question if that was really true. The song on the album that stuck out to him the most was Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have. He had no idea when it had been written, but he could hear the pain in her voice.

_ “I’ve been tearing around in my fucking nightgown _

_ 24/7 Sylvia Plath,”  _ she sang.

_ “Writing in blood on my walls _

_ ‘Cause the ink in my pen don’t work in my notepad,” _

_ “Don’t ask if I’m happy, you know that I’m not _

_ But at best, I can say I’m not sad _

_ ‘Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have _

_ Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have,” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I’ll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of self-harm and drug use

Three months passed. Things were starting to go back to normal. His relationship with Charity was finally starting to improve, as were his relationships with Philip and the rest of the circus. The scandal about him and Jenny was even starting to subside. There had been a few moments where he thought it would end his career, but people moved on.

While all that was great, Phineas still hadn’t heard from Jenny. Her album was successful. It spent five weeks at number one on the Billboard Albums Chart, and has remained in the top ten. Woman Like Me had cracked the top 10 on AT40, and Imagine had made the countdown too. And she had just released Into You as the album’s third single and dropped a music video for it, which had been the number one trending video on YouTube the day it was released. He was beyond happy about her success. But that didn’t do anything to ease his worry about her.

He would give anything just to hear from her. He was concerned about her mental health. She had struggled with self-harm and drug abuse before. He prayed she wasn’t sliding back into those habits. He wished he could check on her in person. He missed her terribly. He still loved her. Part of him always would.

*****

One morning, Phineas woke up with the feeling that something was terribly wrong. It was a cloudy day, with heavy wind and snow. But the weather had nothing to do with it. Something had happened to Jenny. He knew it in his bones.

He took out his phone and tried to call her. She didn’t answer. He’d known she wouldn’t, but he had to try. He sent her a text, praying that she would at least read it. But hours passed, and she never did. 

That evening, he sat on the couch, unable to think about anything but Jenny. He tried to tell himself that if something bad had happened to her, he would’ve heard about it by now. But he knew that wasn’t necessarily true. He knew deep down that there was something wrong. And it turned out, he was right. 

His phone lit up with a call from Philip. He answered it immediately.

“Hello?”

“Did you hear the news?” Philip asked, in a somber tone. 

Phineas’ stomach dropped.

“What news?”

“I’ll just send it to you.” He replied. “I think you should read it for yourself.”

“Okay.” He said quietly. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry.” Philip said before he hung up.

A moment later, Philip texted him an article. He took a deep breath and clicked on it. It was titled “Swedish pop singer Jenny Lind hospitalized after drug overdose.” He was crying before he even started reading it. He was sobbing by the time he was finished.

Apparently, Jenny had overdosed on heroin at a party at her home in Stockholm at about nine P.M. Central European Time. An ambulance was called and she was taken to the hospital. She was unconscious, but she was alive and was expected to make a full recovery. 

Phineas was relieved that she would be okay. But he was devastated, and overrun with guilt. If he hadn’t left her, he could’ve stopped her from getting back into drugs. He could’ve prevented this. She had once told him that he was the only person who had ever cared about her. She had probably spent the last several months thinking he didn’t care about her. But he did. And it was well past time for him to find a way to show her that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	24. Chapter 24

Phineas couldn’t sleep that night. All he could do was lay in bed and cry while he thought about Jenny. He felt sad and scared for her. But he also felt incredibly guilty. Maybe if he’d stayed with her, she wouldn’t have fallen back into her old habits. Maybe he could’ve helped her. He could’ve prevented all this. Maybe she wouldn’t be lying unconscious in a hospital bed if he hadn’t left her. 

But he had left her. There was nothing he could do to change the past. There was nothing he could do but wonder how to help her now. He needed to reach out to her. To let her know he still cared. But the only way he could get to her would be to actually fly out to Sweden. Which he could do, but he knew that Charity wouldn’t be happy about it. Besides, he wasn’t sure if Jenny would even want to see him.

“Phin, are you still awake?” Charity asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah.” He answered softly.

“I’m sorry.” She told him. “What happened to Jenny is awful. I know how much she meant to you. I know you love her.”

He was too tired and upset to even begin to know how to respond to that.

“I wish there was something I could do for her.” Phineas replied. “I wish there was a way I could show her that I still care about her.”

“You want to go to Sweden, don’t you?”

“I do.” He admitted. 

“Then go.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Charity answered. “I know you’ll never be able to forgive yourself if you don’t. And I can’t in good conscience ask you not to go. She needs you.”

He saw a tear fall from her eye, and he reached out to wipe it from her cheek.

“You know I still love you, right?” He asked. 

“I do.” She replied. “But I know that you love her more. So go to her.”

“I will.”

*****

The next morning, Phineas booked a flight from New York to Stockholm and started to pack. It would be a long flight, but it had to be done. He had to make sure Jenny knew that he still cared about her. That he still loved her. 

He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. He wasn’t sure if Jenny was even awake yet. And he didn’t think he could bear to see her unconscious and barely hanging on to life. He wasn’t sure if she would even want to see him if she was awake.

But he had no choice. This was something he had to do. He had to talk to her, even if he had to wait by her bedside for days for her to wake up. He had been the one to ruin their relationship. Now he would have to be the one to fix it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter's a little short. I just couldn't think of a second scene for it. I hope you like it anyway! :)

Phineas stepped off the plane at Stockholm Arlanda Airport at about 3 P.M. Central European Summer Time, feeling disoriented. Part of it was the time difference, but most of it was nerves. He was terrified to see Jenny, even though he had desperately wanted to for months. He’d missed her since the moment he left her, but he’d never thought they’d meet again under these circumstances. 

He checked into his hotel room and put his luggage away before going down to the hospital Jenny was staying in. His body wanted to sleep, but there was no way his mind would let him take a nap. He needed to see her as soon as possible. He could sleep after he made things right with her. 

The nurse told him that Jenny had woken up from her coma the day before, but she was sleeping when he walked into her room. She looked so peaceful that he thought about coming back later. But that was just cowardice talking, trying to convince him to put this off. But he knew he had to do this now. 

He sat the bouquet of flowers he’d bought her on the way here on her bedside table. Then he leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead. She opened her eyes and looked up at him with confusion. 

“Phineas? What are you doing here?” Jenny asked quietly.

“I came to see you.” He replied, taking her hand. 

“I didn’t think you cared.”

He felt tears welling up in his eyes. 

“I do care.” He promised. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t. I’m sorry I left you. I love you.”

“Do you?” She questioned. “Because it seemed to me like you just used me to make more money.”

“I’m sorry.” He told her again. “I never meant to hurt you. Leaving you on the tour was a mistake. I’ve missed you every day since I left. I understand if you can’t forgive me. But I want you to know that I truly am sorry. And that I truly do love you.”

“I shouldn’t forgive you.” She replied. “But I do. I love you.”

Phineas leaned down to kiss her lips and she kissed back. And for a moment, everything was alright again. 

He stayed by Jenny’s bedside until visiting hours closed. Then he kissed her goodnight and reluctantly left the hospital. But he promised her that he would come back tomorrow, and every day after that until she was out of the hospital. He would never abandon her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


	26. Chapter 26

Phineas went back to the hospital the next morning to visit Jenny again. She looked surprised to see him when he walked in.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.” She said. 

“I meant it when I said I was never leaving you again.” He replied, sitting down in the chair beside her bed. 

“What about Charity?” Jenny questioned. 

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen with her.” He admitted. “But she knows that I still love you. She was actually the one who insisted I come to Sweden to see you.”

“I’m shocked she even cares.” She remarked. “But I recently learned that overdosing on heroin brings out sympathy from a whole lot of people who never cared before.”

“Do you think that’s all this is?” Phineas asked. “That I’m just here to look like I care about you?”

“Honestly, it’s hard to believe that you’re here because you genuinely want to be, considering how you left me.” She told him. “But I want to believe that you actually care. I want to believe that you actually love me.”

“I do love you.” He insisted. “I don’t know how I’m going to prove that to you. But I will. And I promise I’m never going to leave you alone again.”

*****

The next morning, Jenny’s doctor cleared her to leave the hospital. Phineas took her to lunch at a small café before heading back to his hotel room. He had asked her if she would rather go back to her house, but she refused, saying she always felt too lonely there. 

When they got back to the hotel room, Phineas took Jenny in his arms and kissed her softly. 

“It feels so good to be able to hold you again.” He told her. 

Jenny smiled and kissed him again and guided him toward the bed.

“Then why don’t I give you the chance to hold me properly?” She replied suggestively.

He kissed her more passionately this time, and she kissed back, only pulling away to pull each other’s shirts off. She moaned when he finally touched her, and he’d almost forgotten how beautiful of a sound it was. Just like he’d almost forgotten how incredible it felt to be inside her. Everything about being with her just felt right. Like they were always meant to be together. And even though their future was uncertain, he would find a way to keep them together. 

*****

That night, Phineas laid in the hotel bed with Jenny. They had spent the day together, a day which had ended with them making love again. She had looked happy all day, but as she laid in his arms, she looked sad again. 

“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” He asked her.

“No.” She shook her head. “I just missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“When are you going back to New York?”

“A few days.” He answered.

“Is it bad that I don’t want you to go back?” Jenny asked.

“I don’t think so.” He replied. “Is it bad that I don’t want to leave?”

“I’m sure your wife would say so.” 

“Don’t get me wrong, I miss my friends and family, especially my daughters. But I don’t want to leave you alone again.”

“I don’t want to be alone again.” She told him. “And I don’t want you to leave me again.” 

“What if I didn’t have to?” Phineas suggested. “What if you came back to New York with me?”

“I would love to.” She replied. “But I don’t think your wife would appreciate that.”

“I’m sure we could work something out.” He told her. “Come with me.”

She was silent for a moment, thinking it over.

“I will.” She agreed eventually. “I’ll go back to New York with you.”

“I love you.” He kissed her.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)


	27. Chapter 27

Phineas woke up the next morning with Jenny in his arms. He wished he could wake up like this every day. And if things went well when they went back to New York, maybe he could.

He felt her stir in his arms, and he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead as she opened her eyes. 

“Good morning, Jenny.” He told her sweetly. 

“Good morning.” She replied with a smile. 

“I missed waking up with you.” 

“So did I.” She agreed. 

“I can’t wait to take you home with me.” He remarked. 

“Are you sure you want to?” 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Phineas assured her. 

“What’s gonna happen when we get there?” Jenny asked. 

“I’m not sure.” He admitted. “But whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. I’m never going to leave you again. I promise.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” 

*****

The next day, Phineas headed back to Stockholm Arlanda Airport, this time with Jenny. He could tell that she was nervous to go back to New York City with him, but she insisted that she wanted to. And of course he wanted nothing more than for her to come with. He wanted nothing more than to keep her by his side forever. But he couldn’t help but be nervous too. He had no idea how people would react. After all, Charity had told him to go visit Jenny, not to take her home with him. 

He held Jenny’s hand as they walked through the airport. He knew there were likely people there who would recognize them and take pictures. He knew that the social media rumor mill would probably be turning before they even landed in New York. But he didn’t care anymore. If he was ever going to make things work with Jenny, he would have to let go of his fear of what people might think. His fear of not having a good reputation. People would talk about this for a few days, and then they would move on. He couldn’t let it affect him. 

As they boarded the plane, Jenny gave him a nervous smile. He squeezed her hand and tried to smile back.

“Everything’s gonna be fine.” He said, not sure whether he was trying to convince her or himself. 

“It better be.” She remarked. “I don’t think I could handle being alone again.”

“I know.” Phineas replied. “I won’t let that happen, sweetheart.”

*****

Several hours later, Phineas sat in an airplane seat, with Jenny leaning her head on his shoulder as she slept. He planted a soft kiss in her hair to wake her up.

“Jenny, we’re here.” He told her.

Her eyes fluttered open.

“Already?”

“Yeah, you slept through the whole flight.”

“What time is it?” Jenny asked. 

“It’s about 1 p.m. Eastern Time.” Phineas answered. 

Jenny nodded silently. He took her hand and led her off the plane. They walked through the airport together, not caring who saw them. He was done letting other people stand in the way of their relationship.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I think this story's going to end up having 30 chapters, maybe 32. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)


	28. Chapter 28

Phineas walked up to his house and opened the door for Jenny. She stepped inside nervously, and he followed her. Charity greeted Jenny with a smile, but he could see her annoyance in her eyes. 

“Phin, can I talk to you in the other room?” Charity requested. 

“Of course.” He nodded. 

He followed Charity into the kitchen, while Jenny stayed in the living room with Caroline and Helen, who had been very excited to see her again. 

“I said you should visit her, not bring her home with you.” Charity remarked.

“She was lonely and miserable.” He argued. “I couldn’t just abandon her again.”

“Do you want to make our marriage work?”

“I do, but…,” Phineas trailed off. 

“But what?” She asked, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“But I want to be with her more.” He admitted. 

Charity started to cry and walked out of the kitchen. He tried to follow her, but she ran up the stairs and locked herself in their bedroom.

“Phineas, what’s going on?” Jenny questioned as he went back to the living room. 

“Nothing, honey.” He reassured her. “Don’t worry about it.”

He could tell she didn’t buy that, but she didn’t press the issue further. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve said if she had. He honestly didn’t know what was going to happen from here. He didn’t know what to do. But for Jenny’s sake, he would figure it out. 

*****

If Phineas thought Charity had been distant from him when he first got back from the tour, it was nothing compared to the cold-shoulder she was giving him now. She had pretty much stopped talking to him unless she absolutely had to, and part of him understood why. This was far from the first time he had chosen someone or something over her. This was probably the last straw for her. She had reluctantly agreed to let Jenny stay in their guest bedroom, but he figured it wouldn’t be long before she just kicked both of them out. 

He sat in a taxi with Jenny as they rode down to the tent to watch the practice for the show. She had been going with him to work recently, since she wanted to spend time with him and she didn’t have anything else to do in the city. He was beginning to think bringing her here was a bad idea. He had hoped she would be happier here. But she seemed more miserable than ever, and he couldn’t blame her. He should’ve known better than to think she would receive a warm welcome. Charity never spoke to her, and people online were already calling her a homewrecker. But at least most of the cast of the show was decent to her. 

He held her hand as he led her to his office. She preferred to spend most of her time in here, still too shy to go out and mingle with everyone all the time. He knew she had felt uncomfortable and out of place in New York City from the moment he had arrived home with her. He desperately wanted to do something to help. But he hadn’t figured out how to yet. 

Phineas planted a kiss in her hair as she settled into his office chair.

“I have to go to practice.” He told her. “You can join me at any time if you want to. And if you need something, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“I know.” Jenny nodded.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He didn’t like leaving her alone, but reluctantly, he did. He walked out to sit in the bleachers, while the cast was still scattered around the tent before practice. Phillip sat down next to him.

“Do you think Jenny will come out and watch today?” He asked.

“I hope she does.” Phineas replied. “But she probably won’t. The only reason she even comes here is because she feels unwelcome at my house.”

“What are you going to do about this?”

“Besides wish I had thought this through better? I have no idea.”

“Do you want to be with Jenny?” Phillip questioned.

“More than anything.”

“Then why don’t you just leave Charity?” He suggested. “People get divorced all the time.”

“I don’t want to do that to the girls.” He explained. “Charity would get custody of them and I would only see them every other weekend and on some holidays.”

“I understand that.” He agreed. “But if you love Jenny and you want to be with her, I don’t see what other choice you have.”

Phineas sighed. He knew Phillip was right. He had just never imagined that he would have to choose between his family and the woman he loved.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took longer than usual. Things have been crazy the last couple of weeks! :)

Phineas went home with Jenny after the show that night. He knew that he needed to talk to Charity. He also knew that she wouldn’t want to talk to him, but he went and found her anyway. She was sitting in bed watching TV. She didn’t acknowledge him when he sat down beside her.

“Charity, do you want a divorce?” He asked. He wasn’t sure how to approach the subject, so he just went for it. 

“Do you?” She questioned. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Yes you do, don’t lie to me.” Charity snapped. “You wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t. You love Jenny and you want to leave me for her.”

“But I don’t want to break up our family.” Phineas pointed out. “If we get a divorce, you’ll get custody of Caroline and Helen, and I’ll only see them every other weekend and on some holidays.”

“It’s not like you’re ever here to see them anyway.” She retorted.

“That’s not fair and you know it.”

“Isn’t it?” She sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I would never try to keep you away from the girls. I’m not that petty.”

“I know you wouldn’t do that.” He replied. “It’s just gonna be hard.”

“I guess you should’ve thought of that before you fell in love with someone else.” 

“I didn’t go on that tour with the intention of falling in love, Charity.” 

She nodded sadly.

“I know.” 

“I’m sorry.”

She nodded again. He got up and started to leave the room, but she stopped him.

“You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, you know.” 

“I know.” He nodded. “I’m sorry.”

He walked out before she could say anything else.

*****

Phineas sat down beside Jenny in his office the next morning. He had considered talking to her earlier, but he decided he should have this conversation with her somewhere his family wouldn’t overhear. He wanted this discussion to be as private as possible. 

“We need to talk.” He told her. 

“About what?” She asked, looking worried. 

“Charity and I have decided to get a divorce.” He explained. 

“Phineas, I’m so sorry.” Jenny replied. “I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a homewrecker.”

“You’re not.”

“But I am.” She argued. “And that’s what everyone is going to say about me.”

“For a while yes. But people will move on soon enough.” He pointed out. “They always do, especially in this day and age.” 

“True. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about breaking up a family.”

“Honey, please don’t blame yourself for this.” Phineas took her hand. “Charity and I just can’t keep pretending that we’re the same people we were when we got married. And I can’t live a lie and pretend I’m still in love with her when I love you. It wouldn’t be fair to Charity and it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

She nodded.

“What about Caroline and Helen?”

“Charity and I are going to try to get joint custody of the girls.” He explained. “So hopefully half the time they’ll live with me and half the time they’ll live with her.”

“And what about me?” She questioned. “Do you want me to move in?”

“That’s entirely up to you.” He told her. “I would love it if you moved in with me. But if you want to wait a while or if you never want to move in at all, that’s completely fine.”

“I would love to move in with you.” She replied. “But given my history of drug abuse, wouldn’t that hurt your chances of getting joint custody of the girls?”

Phineas sighed, not having thought about that.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.” He admitted. “It might.”

“Then I won’t move in.” She decided. “At least not for a while. I’ll find my own place. I won’t let you jeopardize your custody of your daughters over me.”

“I understand.” He nodded.

They sat in silence for a moment before Jenny spoke again.

“Are you sure you want to leave Charity for me?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

*****

A few months passed. Jenny had found her own apartment, and Charity had moved out as well, which left Phineas alone in his house much of the time. He and Charity had officially filed for divorce, and a judge had awarded them joint physical and legal custody of Caroline and Helen in court. He got lonely sometimes, but it was always better when his daughters were living with him. 

Their divorce had been a scandal at first, like he knew it would be. But people moved on, like he knew they would. After all, celebrities got divorced all the time, and Hollywood churned out scandals quickly enough that the general public soon forgot about his. The scandal had an impact on his and Jenny’s reputations at first, but thankfully, it hadn’t lasted, and it didn’t do any long term damage to either of their careers. 

One night, after the show, he decided to call Jenny since the girls were with Charity. She answered after only one ring.

“Hello?” 

“Jenny,” He smiled at the sound of her voice. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight.”

“I would love that.” She replied. “But don’t you have Caroline and Helen right now?”

“No, Charity picked them up this morning.” He explained. 

“You have a beautiful family.” Jenny remarked. “I hate feeling like I’m getting in the way of that.”

“You’re not getting in the way of my family.” He assured her. “In fact, someday, I hope you can join it.”

“I would love nothing more.”

“So do you want to come over tonight?” He asked.

“I’ll be right over.” Sh replied. “See you soon.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. There’s probably only one chapter left after this. I’ll have that out soonish. Thanks for reading! :)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, and it's full of nothing but tooth-rotting fluff. Enjoy! :)

Two years passed. Things had been going pretty well for Phineas. He was happy. Caroline and Helen were happy. Charity was happier than he’d seen her in a long time. And Jenny was happy.

She had been living in New York for the last two years. She loved it and she was on track to become an American citizen in a few years. More importantly, she hadn’t touched drugs since she’d been here. She was totally clean. He was proud of her. And he was very much in love with her. 

Phineas sat across from her at one of her favorite restaurants. He had taken her out to eat here to surprise her. And as she finished her dinner, he got out of his chair and down on one knee. She gasped when he took the small box out of his pocket.

“Jenny, I have been captivated by you from the moment I met you in a TV studio in London.” He began. “I didn’t know then that I loved you, but I did, and I still do. If it’s possible, I love you a little more everyday. And I would like to keep loving you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Jenny nodded, tearing up. “Yes, I‘ll marry you.”

He slid the ring on her finger and stood up to kiss her. People around them were staring, but he didn’t notice them. All that mattered was her. He loved her. And he was going to love her forever.

*****

Six months later, Phineas stood nervously at the altar of the church. Phillip, his best man, gave him a reassuring nod. The music started and the doors opened. Jenny walked through them, taking his breath away. She looked absolutely stunning in her wedding dress. He was certain he was the luckiest man in the world. 

The ceremony itself was a blur. He thanked god they had decided against writing their own vows. He never would’ve gotten the words out. All he really remembered was finally getting to kiss his bride. 

After the ceremony was over and they had taken their wedding pictures, Phineas and Jenny rode in a limo over to the tent where they had decided to have their reception. When they walked in the tent, they were greeted by the cheers of their friends and family, including the cast of the show, as well as Charity and his daughters, who had been flower girls in the wedding.

Phineas took Jenny’s hand and led her to the center of the ring. Their guests all gathered excitedly around them to watch their first dance as husband and wife. Lettie took the stage behind them to sing the song they had chosen, I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. 

_ “When I look into your eyes,”  _ Lettie sang. 

_ “It’s like watching the night sky _

_ Or a beautiful sunrise _

_ Well, there’s so much they hold,” _

_ “And just like them old stars _

_ I see that you’ve come so far _

_ To be right where you are _

_ How old is your soul?” _

Phineas leaned down to kiss Jenny as they danced. The crowd cheered.

_ “Well, I won’t give up on us _

_ Even if the skies get rough _

_ I’m giving you all my love _

_ I’m still looking up,” _

Phineas was in a trance while he danced with Jenny. It was like the rest of the world had faded away, and it was just the two of them alone in the room. 

_ “I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily _

_ I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make,”  _ Lettie sang during the bridge.

_ “Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts _

_ We got, yeah, we got a lot at stake,” _

_ “And in the end, you’re still my friend, at least we did intend _

_ For us to work, we didn’t break, we didn’t burn  _

_ We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in _

_ I had to learn what I got, and what I’m not _

_ And who I am,” _

_ “I won’t give up on us _

_ Even if the skies get rough _

_ I’m giving you all my love _

_ I’m still looking up,” _

Phineas felt tears well up in his eyes, and he could see Jenny starting to cry too. But they weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of joy. They were married. They were happy. They were in love. They were finally together. And he was never going to leave her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of now, I don't have any more fanfic ideas for this fandom, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll never come back to it. I hope you enjoyed this story. Your comments and kudos mean a lot to me. Thanks for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're enjoying this so far. I'll have more soon. Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
